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21st Aug 2022

Musings: Making mum friends on Bumble BFF was not as easy as I thought

Melissa Carton

It wasn’t as simple as I thought it would be.

Recently I discovered that dating app Bumble also had two other non-relationship related settings, one for networking with people working in your industry and a BFF one to make new friends.

I always like getting to know new people, but it’s a little harder to do now than it was in my teens or early twenties, so I figured I’d give Bumble BFF a go.

After a week of ice-breakers all I can say is that I commend anyone currently trying to date or get to know people through apps because it’s easier said than done.

I’ve had several ‘so where do you usually like to travel’ and ‘what do you make of lockdown’ conversations but things tend to flatten out after that.

I honestly didn’t think it would be that difficult, especially thinking back to my MSN days when I could strike up a conversation with anyone and keep it going.

I’m also not really a fan of the swiping left and right part. It feels so judgmental and impersonal.

I personally think approaching a new friendship like you would approach a potential boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t work either.

We have very different dynamics with friends and when I think about how I became friends with people, it’s very different then how I’ve asked or been asked out.

There have been some groups that I’ve joined online like Girls Crew, Casual Choir or Galz Gone Wild that I’ve found worked better for me at least, when it came to making new friends.

You’re generally meeting in a small group for an event or to go on a trip so automatically you have something in common.

The conversations are more natural too, unlike online which I feel becomes very forced after a while.

To be honest I’m really surprised that I didn’t like befriending people through Bumble BFF better.

When I was 19 I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD and I’ve always struggled with social situations so I thought I’d love getting to know people in a way that I could sort of control.

That wasn’t the case, in fact getting messages from people I didn’t know sent my anxiety through the roof.

I think I’m going to stick to keeping an eye out for hobbies and groups where I can get to know new people and leave the apps behind.