As most parents will agree, those first few emotional days following birth are not always the best time to welcome a stampede of excited visitors into your home or hospital ward.
If you are planning on popping in to see the new arrival, make sure you're a grade A guest by following our simple rules. A little thought and some clever planning will ensure you get invited back again and again!
1. SAY: 'You're doing a GREAT job.'
No matter how capable and relaxed, every new mama hides the secret fear that she is screwing it all up. Hearing somebody say that they believe she's got it all under control can be a major reassurance. This is not the time to offer unsolicited advice.
2. DO: Be proactive
Offer to do a crappy job; if you see dishes, wash them. Empty the dishwasher, make the tea, take out the wheelie bins. Be available for short bursts of time so mum can take a shower or dad can sleep or spend time with older children. Offer to walk the dog, feed the cat, clean out the hamster cage or run to the shops.
3. BRING: Food
A basic lasagne or yummy casserole that can be heated and devoured in portions (at any time of the day or night) can be a godsend for a frazzled pair of new parents. Earn extra points for providing foods that can be eaten with one hand while mom and dad hold the new arrival in the other (crudité and dip; quiche, cupcakes).
4. SAY: 'I understand how you feel'
Empathy is hugely underestimated tool in the first tricky weeks of new parenthood. If you've been through it, your reassurance could prove to be a godsend to a new mama. Be there to listen and supply tea and cake.
5. DO: Keep it light
These two just created new life, that's about as amazing as they can handle right now. Keep the conversation light, relaxed and mainly baby-focused. Avoid scary world news, politics, aggressive sports...
6. BRING: Older kids to the park or to the cinema
The arrival of a new baby can make it difficult to spend quality time with older children. Taking them for an ice cream treat or to catch a new movie at the cinema will help them feel included. It'll also allow mum and dad some precious time to bond with their new baby.
