Ah, maternity leave – and the notion many (who have yet to take it) have is that it’s this lengthy, relaxing break from the real world, full of “blissed out” mothers and peacefully snoozing newborns, right?
Well, anyone who has ever actually lived through those raw days of life with a newborn can tell you that the reality is a little less bliss and a little more boob and blur.
I know I was a pretty fine mess those first days of life with both my babies, I was overwhelmed and happy and tired and sore. My boobs were leaking and I couldn’t remember when the last time I washed my hair and I felt so overwhelmingly in love with these babies I had just made and given birth to that I couldn’t stop crying.
And because of this, having lived through the glorious chaos that is new motherhood, we are loving these real images of those first few days with baby that writer Jessica Shortall got her readers to send in – in all their raw and honest glory:
This one is of Jessica herself:
She captioned the image:
“That’s me, in 2010. In this moment, I had mastitis (an infection of the breast that causes fever and swelling) and a painful C-section incision. It was just two days after I’d been hit by the lightning bolt of loving this small person. Five weeks before I would be felled—truly taken to the ground—by postpartum anxiety (mostly related to my looming return to work) that spiraled into the most terrifying period of my adult life. Eleven weeks before I’d go back to work. Nineteen weeks before I’d get on a plane, to Nepal, without my son (but with my breast pump).”<
When Jessica shared this photo on her Facebook community page, fellow mums started sending her their own postpartum photos, and we love how honest and beautiful they are:
One of her readers, Andrea, sent her the above picture of herself, explaining:
“In this photo, I had my first clogged duct, a severe case of postpartum preeclampsia, scary postpartum anxiety that wouldn’t let me sleep unless I was holding my baby and gave me panic attacks every time the sun went down, and the beginning stages of an infected C-section incision.”
Another mama, Kate, shared this photo, and an incredibly raw story.
“I labored for 39 hours. It became apparent after several more hours that my son was stuck and he was unable to be turned. We had no choice to but accept a cesarean. I had labored so hard for so long that he was wedged between my bones. I would go on to be discharged less than 48 hours later with a catheter because my bladder was damaged during surgery from the force needed to get my child out. I was given no pain medication when I left. I struggled with breastfeeding and screamed through the first couple of weeks from the pain of it.
I had my first flashbacks and panic attack at six weeks postpartum. I was suicidal at two months postpartum. I was later diagnosed with postpartum depression and PTSD from the birth, which was exacerbated by a child who screamed 12 hours a day for 15 months and me getting about four hours of sleep each night for a year. In the end, I remember very little about the first year, just as I remember very little about this photo. I was struggling to survive moment to moment in what felt like life-threatening terror. As a result my husband also developed depression and anxiety. The first time I felt love like parents talk about, my son was about 18 months old. Let that sink in: I nursed and cared for a child that I did not particularly love for a year and a half. In the end I did fall in love with him. I nursed him for 25 months. I found the strength to carry a second child. Parenthood is nothing like what people told me (except for the part about sleep deprivation―that sh** was real).”
Reader Cristin sent this postpartum photo:
At this moment, Cristin was, according to herself, “sneaking a nap in a messy living room while baby sleeps, and my neglected cat sneaks in for some much-missed cuddles.”
New mum Cara sent in a hospital snap of her and her baby:
“This was a day after a C-section in which I regained sensation during the middle of surgery. I was throwing up from the Percocet (puking with an abdominal wound is pretty fab) and nursing every 90 minutes, round the clock, for the first four weeks. But I’d still rather relive that day than the day before I returned to work.”
This is how Jessica explained her desire to share these photos with the world:
“In an era of highly curated selfies, it isn’t easy to show the world what we look like at our most raw. But we want the world to see us, and know us, like this. No, we wouldn’t trade a moment of it, and no, we’re not complaining. We are simply showing the emotional, painful, joyful, unreal realities of new parenthood. We’re doing the work of humanity, and we’re asking you to see and value that work for the beautiful mess that it is.”
So, so true.
Tell us, what do YOU remember from those first few days of motherhood, mamas? We would love to hear from you in the comments or tweet us at @herfamilydotie
(Feature image via
