Newsflash! Christmas is coming.
And before you get outraged by the very mention of Christmas IN SEPTEMBER FOR GOODNESS SAKE, relax, we are here to help
This is our pre-Christmas, Christmas preparation list. A way of ensuring that once the Christmas carols hit in circa (looks at watch) 4 weeks, we will smugly smile and watch other people's heads fall off for a change.
1. Get your story straight about Santa
Does he change clothes when he flies from Dubai to Dublin? Why doesn't Santa bring you presents? Can we only leave presents under the tree? I was NOT prepared for the amount of questions I have already been asked about the Christmas process. It was much easier when they couldn't talk. I try to keep it as vague and as mysterious as possible but I'm positive my five-year-old is taking notes. She glanced at me with narrowed eyes when I told her the sleigh has to stop for petrol in each country. "I thought you said it runs on magic?" The force is strong with that one.
2. Use your Mummy Mind Control while you still can
"Isn't it so great that Santa will be bringing you a lovely new bike?"
"But I don't want a bike"
"Santa knows you better than you know yourself, of course, you want a bike"
"I want a sister"
*Reaches for wine
3. Nip it in the bud
Allow an afternoon of TV and encourage them to pay close attention to all ads. Have a pen and paper handy and note down every time they exclaim "I want that from Santa". Don't delude yourself that it won't be every single item. Jot down whatever toys gets the loudest shots, then narrow it down again by crossing off the very expensive and the very messy. Then, and here is the key point: DO NOT LET THEM WATCH A SINGLE TV AD AGAIN BEFORE CHRISTMAS. Job done. Now don't forget to work on your own list of Things Santa Doesn't Bring; Pets, Electric Wheelchairs, Real Swords,....Sisters.
4. Forward Plan
While you are still in super mum phase (hello September), make a definitive plan about where you are spending Christmas and then stick to it. Collate everyone's contact details and hey presto you are ahead of the Christmas card writing game. If you are totally crazy you could even buy gifts ahead of time and store them. But choose your storage space wisely (see point 5)
5. Don't forget where you hid the gifts
Coming across most of the stocking fillers in our airing cupboard last January was not my finest parenting hour. On the upside, they are still good to go for this year. On the downside, everyone now hates Peppa. Maybe I will just leave them where they are for another year until little Miss Cute is old enough to appreciate all that little pig has to offer. I wondered why those stockings were so light!
How has Christmas changed for you since having a family? Tweet us on @herFamilydotie with your experiences.
