The secrecy phase of pregnancy in many ways is the most fun, there’s a nice bonding feeling between you and your partner when you two have the little foetus all to yourselves during those first few weeks.
Of course, actually keeping that secret is another matter altogether especially when said foetus has kind of taken control of your body and is making you act pretty… well… pregnant.
In our pub-obsessed culture, the not-drinking is usually the secretly pregnant woman’s downfall. The eagle-eyed girls are always put on high alert the second they notice one among their number attempting a casual “I’m not drinking tonight..” refrain.
15 Ways to Spot a Secretly Pregnant Woman:
1. When on a night out, she’s always “driving” or “hungover” or “driving” because she’s “hungover”. Or she just avoids going out altogether.
2. She gets a chicken fillet roll for lunch then puts salt ‘n’ vinegar crisps in it.
3. She’s not drinking because she’s on really strong painkillers because she’s got a “toothache” (aka a foetus).
4. She’s asleep.
5. She suddenly wearing a lot of elasticated pants.
6. She orders her steak well done.
7. She abruptly abandons all interest in exercise in favour of sleeping and eating.
8. She’s asleep again.
9. She really REALLY angry.
10. She’s crying.
11. She’s asleep.
12. She has got debilitating wind.
13. She looks amazing.
14. She looks horrific.
15. She wants a pop tart.
Were you rumbled by your friends when you were secretly pregnant? What gave the game away? Tell us in the comments…
