It may have only been a couple of weeks since she announced that she pregnant, but in that short time Lauren Conrad has already treated the world to the most adorable announcement, a list of her favourite baby names, and now, also, shared some thoughts on acceptable pregnancy etiquette.
Conrad took to her lifestyle website this week to share some thoughts on what to say – or more what not to say – to pregnant women.
“Most people only mean well when they are commenting on a pregnancy, but it’s one of those situations where it’s hard to know what to do or say,” the 30-year-old writes. “I may only be in my second trimester, but I’ve already noticed quite a few etiquette missteps when it comes to how people behave around someone who is expecting.”
According to the reality star alumni, the following four pregnancy-related guidelines are essential when speaking to women (or even couples):
1. Do not ask a couple when they are going to have kids
Yes, a lot of married couples do start trying to get pregnant relatively soon after they tie the knot. But that is definitely not always the case—and it’s never a fair assumption to make. Keep in mind that the decision to have children (both if and when), is an extremely personal one. And any questioning, pressure, or even hinting about it usually just makes the couple uncomfortable (and yes, this includes making comments on the Instagram of someone who is in the public eye!). You also never know if someone may be privately struggling with fertility or has suffered through a recent miscarriage. In those cases, asking someone when they are going to have kids can be a major trigger question. If a friend, family member, or public figure opens up to you about this decision first, then you get to comment about it. But please wait for them to volunteer the information first!
2. Never ask when someone is due unless you are 100% certain they are expecting
’ve heard from my several of my friends that this is a question they have been asked in the first few months postpartum when they haven’t quite lost the baby weight and still have a little “bump.” There are also some people who just carry their weight in their belly even if they have never had a baby. There’s no bigger blow to someone’s self-confidence and body image than asking them if they are pregnant when they are not. So unless they already mentioned that they are expecting, it’s much better to hold your tongue.
3. Refrain from commenting on the size of someone’s bump
I myself have been guilty of this one. While seeing a friend’s bump grow can be really exciting, you probably don’t comment on the size or shape of any other part of a woman’s body—and it’s not a good idea to comment on her bump either! Women carry their pregnancy in all different ways, and can be self-conscious about it. Whether a woman is bigger than average or she’s not showing as much as she thought she would be, keep in mind that it can be a very sensitive subject.
4. Don’t touch the belly without asking
This one might seem like a no-brainer, but every mama I know has some story about a stranger touching her pregnant belly. When my best friend Hannah was pregnant two years ago, I was witness to this phenomenon more than once. It happens way more often than you would think! Even if you are a close friend or family member, it doesn’t hurt to ask first before making a grab for the belly. No matter what your relationship to the mama-to-be is, keep in mind that it’s much more pleasant to have someone politely ask if it is OK before groping your midsection.
What do YOU think, ladies? Do you agree with Conrad about these? Are there any rules you would like to add? Let us know in the comments or tweet us at @Herfamilydotie
