One major topic of conversation (between CLOSE friends only!) when I was pregnant, was whether or not I was going to be ok with my husband Alan ‘being down the business end’.
When I was having our first baby, I wasn’t so sure and to be fair, neither was he.
Would he be grossed out and never feel the same way about me ever again, or would he be amazed by the beauty of childbirth and love me so much more?
I made the decision not to direct the situation and in the end, Alan pretty much saw everything with the births of both of our babies.
When the midwives asked if he wanted to look as their little heads were crowning, he jumped at the chance – and I didn’t stop him.
He was a bit too afraid to cut the umbilical cord with our first baby, but with the second, he was a total pro – no fear!
Here’s Why I Didn’t Mind Him Being THAT Close To ‘The Action’:
1. They were his childbirths too
Men can feel a bit helpless around the whole pregnancy/childbirth/early days of parenting stuff. Having them be as much a part of the labour and childbirth as possible, makes them feel as though they had an important role in the process. The way Alan talks about it now, you’d swear he’d actually delivered the babies himself.
2. He is a confident man
Alan is very self-aware and determined so I know that if he genuinely felt that he wasn’t going to be able for getting a look down there during childbirth, then he would choose not to. My telling him what he could or couldn’t do wouldn’t really wash with him anyway.
3. I am a confident woman
I’m kind of OK with my partner seeing me in all sorts of different ways. He gets to see me when I’m all dressed up and ready to go out, he sees me first thing in the morning when I’m a ‘vision’, when I’m sad and vulnerable, when I’m angry and upset, when I’m sick and whiny, when I’m happy and celebrating. Therefore, seeing me in labour is another part of our journey together and I was sure we’d be closer for the experience in the end.
4. Our relationship is solid
Yes, we kill each other and no, it hasn’t all been a bed of roses. But Alan and I chose each other as the people we wanted to raise a family with. If I thought for a second that seeing me give birth to those babies was going to ‘put him off me’ (or whatever other bizarre fears us women have about all of that) – I don’t think he would be the man for me. And no, it didn’t have any weird effect on our sex life!
5. We’re in it together
Labour and childbirth is a beautiful, difficult, traumatic, crazy, dramatic, terrifying and elating experience. Do I think that I should get to experience all of that without my partner being there to witness, experience and understand it all with me? Nope – our partners better understand how amazing we are as women in childbirth if they are right there with us.
And with that, for me, comes a higher respect and a deeper love.
What about you – did you mind what your partner saw in the labour room or did you keep them ‘up the top’?! Let us know in the Facebook comments.
