15 Pregnancy tweets that perfectly sum up the whole experience
Let's all laugh (then pee, then cry) together.
While pregnancy is a time of joy and excitement, it's also a time of exhaustion, fluctuating hormones, a pressured bladder and unsolicited advice from people you don't wanna listen to.
And the only people who fully get the extent of your joy, pain, irritation, hunger and fatigue are others who've gone through it themselves.
So with that in mind, we've put together a list of pregnancy tweets that perfectly sum up what you go through during the 9-month-rollercoaster of carrying a child.
1. I live here.
5 Stages of Pregnancy:
3: Crying because you peed
4: Peeing because you're crying
5: The toilet is your home now
— Sam (@SufficientCharm) April 24, 2017
2. Minding your business is free.
(I am 6 months pregnant)
Me after ordering my coffee:
Stranger at Starbucks: you know you should be drinking decaf when you’re pregnant.
Me: I’m... not pregnant.
Stranger: (horrified) I am so, so sorry!
And that’s what you get for giving unsolicited advice.
— Jax ⚡️Philosopher Queen (@Diamond_Jax) August 2, 2019
3. Well trained.
Me- *Coughs really hard.
3- Don't worry Mommy, I get you dry pants!
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) April 5, 2019
Other pregnant woman: I like to do yoga and an hour of cardio each day. It helps me appreciate the wonders of what my body is capable of right now
Me: I almost suffocated while trying to put my shoes on this morning
— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) January 24, 2019
5. Truth hurts...
I am “someone on twitter told me to be the bigger person and I said I am the bigger person and cried” weeks pregnant
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) January 4, 2018
6. Can't a girl dream?
A very humbling moment in my life was when I was pregnant and feeling very busty, so I went to a lingerie store and was like “yeah, I don’t even KNOW what cup size I am, because PREGNANCY has made my chest HUGE,” so they measured me and they were like “ma’am you are a 34A”
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) May 27, 2019
7. 40 weeks of kiss or kill.
Pregnancy hormones make you want to either rip your husband's clothes off or his head off.
There is literally nothing in between.
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) January 6, 2019
8. It belongs to the floor now.
At that point in the final stage of pregnancy where after I drop something on the floor I say to myself, “I’ll just pick that up once the baby is here.” 🤰🏼
— Andrea Brooks (@AndreaKBrooks) November 22, 2019
9. Cruel irony.
Pregnancy: So you're going to be extra tired, and it's really important you get a lot of rest.
Me: Got it, more sleep
Pregnancy: Ha! No.... remember those side effects we talked about? You definitely won't be able to sleep.
— Some Boys' Mother (@someboysmother) May 2, 2019
10. It's like looking for your glasses that are on your head... but on steroids.
My wife and I went for a walk and halfway through she got scared that we left the baby at the house. It’s still in her stomach. #PregnancyBrain
— Jeremy Khan (@JeremyMcLellan) February 28, 2018
11. I need a shower from getting dressed after a shower.
Welcome to pregnancy, you now get winded putting on pants.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) March 6, 2020
12. Same, tbh.
Before my wife became pregnant, I always assumed Braxton Hicks was a country music artist.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) April 13, 2018
13. Like something out of a fairytale.
Of all the things that will make you puke repeatedly, pregnancy is the most magical.
— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) January 29, 2018
14. So kind.
Kids do this neat thing where they wreck your body during pregnancy and childbirth, then blatantly insult it from the moment they learn to talk.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 24, 2019
15. Despite it all though, we're fairly incredible.
How could a pregnant woman talking on her phone while herding 3 additional children through a store notice I dropped my debit card and grab it for me?
Because Mothers are unnatural super human freaks who push the limits of excellence in the everyday routine of life.
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) October 3, 2018