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Early years

15th Sep 2022

Some things definitely ‘not’ to do if you’ve been up all night with the baby

Melissa Carton

I’ve stopped trying to figure out when the last time I slept through the night was.

Everyone always asks if baby is sleeping through the night, but they rarely ask the parents.

That’s because deep down we all know that nobody is sleeping through the night.

I’ve come to realise now that sleeping through the night is all but a distant memory, that there are some things I can definitely give up.

Medications come with a list of things you should avoid doing after you’ve taken them so why shouldn’t sleep deprivation come with the same?

Here are some things I personally think you should drop if you’ve been up all night with the baby.

Do not operate heavy machinery.

This includes washing machines and dishwashers. I just wouldn’t chance it.

Cease contact with the outside world.

Everything from text messaging and saying hello to your next door neighbour. They’re only going to try to strike up a conversation with you and ain’t nobody got the brain power for that.

Actually it’s probably best to just throw your phone out the window.

It’s only going to be full of Facebook posts from Karen going on about how perfect her kids are and nobody needs that kind of negativity in their life.

Don’t try to be Gordon Ramsey.

You may want to swear as much as he does some days but you don’t have to be a professional chef. There is no shame in having cereal for breakfast and lunch.

Leave the dishes.

In your sleep deprived state it’s too dangerous. What if you fall asleep in the sink while you’re scrubbing the pots? Not worth the risk.

Don’t limit screen time.

Now that you have Karen and her snarky Facebook page out of your life it’s time to let the telly help you out. Who cares if you’re toddler watches Frozen on repeat if you get to drink your tea in peace?

On a serious note, if you are sleep deprived definitely don’t drive. It’s extremely dangerous to drive when you haven’t slept properly.

If you need to do a school pick up or something make alternative arrangements with a family member or use public transport.

Mostly, just look after yourself. At the end of the day you have to mind yourself before you can mind anybody else.