Dear Younger Self,
Please do not wear the orange lipstick you sported circa 1994 to 1997. Not only does it not attract men, but it actively repels them. Oh, and chokers suit no one. Ever. Not even Kendall Jenner. Wouldn’t it be amazing to rewind the clock and put right all the wrongs you stacked up over the years.
Here is my list of do-overs:
1.Peach Schnapps will not (sometimes will) cure all that ails you.
I was convinced that if I ever drank or did drugs I would succumb. I’m sure my Mum and Dad were totally thrilled that their fear-based parenting worked, and I didn’t touch a drop until I was 17 . But while my friends were drinking dolly mixtures and pink woodies down in The Field, this exotic creature was sipping peach schnapps and pineapple like I was in County Hawaii. I must have looked SO cool.
2.Fringes do not suit everyone. Or you, ever.
I wish someone had pointed out that my wispy flat blond bob would never translate into Jennifer Aniston’s swishy thick mane. Instead, I was left hoping, like a fool, that my hairdressers was, in fact, Merlin. Instead of a fringe, it looked like some kind of accident with glue and I was left with a few pathetic strands at the front, perpendicular to my nice thick eyebrows. On the upside, at least it distracted from the orange lipstick.
(Image via pretty designs.com)
3.Wear factor 50 on that 6th year trip to Grand Canaria
This piece of advice would have saved me five bottles of aloe vera after-sun, three nights lying flat with throbbing lobster legs and such immense pain I couldn’t stand for any length of time without that burning, pinched feeling I’m sure every Irish person of a certain age can remember. I blame my parents for their lack of concern over the damage sunshine can do over the years. They CONDITIONED me to ditch suncream and seek out burning rays on our poor, pale faces. Now I have to spend a fortune on skincare. Thanks a lot, Mum.
4. Never let anyone affect your mood
Like many of us, I was crippled with trying to fit in and obsessing about saying the right thing. It’s only now, three children later, that I truly couldn’t care less about what most people think of me. My husband, yes, my kids, meh. Everyone has an opinion, but most are too busy with their own lives. I think as our world got bigger, we all cared a little less about the things that were huge at the time. Confidence comes from realising that everyone is preoccupied with their own stuff.
5. Don’t wish it all away
Hindsight is a fantastic thing, but at the end of the day, it’s our mistakes and mishaps that shape us into the people we are today. So although I would go back and make some MINOR changes, sometimes growing up imperfect can be simply just as perfect.
Even with a wonky fringe.
