Are you a bad mum for not always being mad about your kids?
Of course not – but it can be hard for parents to open up about feeling less than 100 per cent about parenthood.
That’s why honesty about the lows, as well as the highs, is always refreshing to hear.
We’re applauding one mum blogger who has admitted that she “didn’t like” her children before she realised she had postnatal depression.
Tiffany Jenkins, who shares snippets of her family life on her blog Juggling The Jenkins, shared a photo of herself and her two kids from a few years back.
“I did not like my children when this photo was taken,” she wrote in the caption.
“I actually resented them for existing. Kaiden was 17 months old and Chloe 1 month, and I didn’t want to be their mother, I didn’t want to change their diapers, feed them, and most of the time I wanted to leave them in their cribs and run out the door, never to return.”
Tiffany was afraid to speak out about it for fear of being judged and so struggled in silence.
“I know that some of your jaws are hanging open, and some of you are probably disgusted thinking, ‘how the hell can someone dislike their own children?’. I know, its effed up, which is why it took me so long to tell anybody about it.
“I remained silent and buried my thoughts. I smiled for photos and mustered false admiration when someone would fawn over them.
“I cried often, most of the day actually. I questioned my sanity and constantly berated myself for being such a shitty person. I screamed, I hid, I let them cry and pulled my hair out. I didn’t want them anymore. I didn’t want them.”
It all became too much for her and one day, when she was tempted to leave the children in their cribs, she decided to call her GP.
Tiffany was told to come in immediately and after talking over her symptoms with her doctor, was diagnosed with postnatal depression.
From there, her life slowly got better as she worked to battle the condition and improve her mental health.
She admitted that getting help was the best thing she ever did as a mother and urged anyone else struggling to do the same.
“My kids are 2 and 3 now, and I love and adore them so much that my heart physically aches when I think of them. I would give my life for them without blinking.
“Reaching out for help was the greatest gift I have ever given them as a mother.
“If any of this sounds familiar to you, I just wanted you to know – you aren’t alone. You arent crazy – and you need to tell someone.”
Support services
Post Natal Depression Ireland: (021) 4922083
Parentline: (01) 878 7230
Nurture: (01) 843 0930
Aware: (01) 661 7211
