Do you have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) when it comes to extra-curricular activities for your child?
It seems, in the current pursuit of happiness, parents are getting caught up in dragging their children from club to club making sure they “nurture” every glimmer of talent that they can find. But are we going a little too far? There is a fine line between a healthy amount of enrichment in their lives, and full on overloading.
Is downtime now the hottest new trend?
Andy Murray’s mum, Judy, devoted herself to her sons’ tennis careers from a very early age. She describes how she sacrificed everything to make sure her sons got the lessons they needed to become the best. And it paid off. I spent a great deal of my school days competitively Irish dancing. I would travel an hour after school each day to intense dance classes, doing my homework in the car. I hated it at the time, but now I look back proudly at my achievements and of the accolades I reached.
I am very aware of this as I begin signing my children up for activities at this time of the year. They are still quite young, but with just an hour of PE assigned to each class each week, and the poor weather we are coming into, I am afraid my children will not meet the recommended ONE HOUR A DAY sweaty activity that they should be getting. That is my motivation for signing up to gymnastics, rugby and swimming.
In a report in the Telegraph, Judy Reith, a parenting coach and author of the book 7 Secrets of Raising Girls Every Parent Must Know, believes that it’s ok to give your children the opportunity to do something that excites them.
“Childhood is when we develop interests that can last a lifetime, a chance to try out anything from sports, creative activities or music and the arts. The preteen years are the best time to have a go at new things, before self-consciousness strikes. Parents must be willing to make sacrifices to accommodate their children’s passions, and far better that they should be out doing something healthy and stimulating than at home with their PlayStation. But, we must try not to worry about what other families are doing.”
However, Judy believes if your child spends any more than five nights or mornings a week on extra-curricular activities, you are asking for trouble.
She believes that parents should be mindful that their schedule is too busy. It could be costing them – financially and physically if they are rushing too and fro just to fit in those Spanish lessons.
But FOMO seems to be alive and well among parents who feel bad because their children are not doing karate, piano and ballet, as well as scouts and sailing. I admit I do get a bit flustered when I hear of another parent signing up to another activity. The cost alone is prohibitive and in my experience, some of these ‘lessons’ are simply babysitting in disguise. A recent ballet class a friend signed her daughter up to insisted she
A recent ballet class a friend signed her daughter up to insisted she buy a 50 euro uniform on day one. This was TOTALLY unnecessary and needless to say she refused. I had a similar experience in a drama class that extended to backpacks, t-shirts and jumpers. I don’t mind paying for my children to learn a new skill, but I do NOT expect to be taken for a mug. Finding the right balance is key, as well as not over-scheduling your child.
In pre-school, your child is just starting to learn how to interact and understand discipline.
The advice is that their activities should be simple and carefree. One or two classes a week. In Junior and Senior Infants the guideline is three activities a week as long as you also get the balance right between play dates and playground visits. Your child should avoid competitive sports as they are still too young to worry about winning and losing. After a long day of school, it is important to have a healthy outlet for pent up energy. By the time your child is 8 or 9 years old they should be able to steer you towards what activities they enjoy. A lot of children start musical instruments at this age.
Do allow your child some ‘alone time’ though. By 11 years old team sports are the best idea. Their extra-curricular activities should centre around socialisation and you should encourage your child to do activities that will boost their confidence.
How many activities is your child involved in? Do you feel pressure to sign them up to numerous hobbies?
