Have you made a resolution for 2023?
There is so much pressure placed on people to lose weight, try a new hobby, and completely overhaul their lives. All because the calendar has changed. The pressure to improve your life in an instant is all too real. And you know what? It's the last thing we need right now. We spoke to the therapist and best-selling author Rebecca Lockwood about why it's time to ditch the resolutions.
She said it's time for women to simply be kinder to themselves. "The new year gives so many people the push to set some resolutions, get intentional on what to achieve in the year, and feel positive and determined to take some action to have a better year than the last one.
"When life is not matching the perception you have in your mind of how it should be this can cause negative inner chatter. Things like "I am just not going to be able to do this" leave people feeling negative and as though there are no options. When we ask ourselves better questions we open up our thinking to find new resources and new ways to behave instead of limiting ourselves.
"We constantly preach about being kind but never extend the same graces to ourselves"
"When things are going wrong it's easy to put blame on ourselves and add pressure. She explained: "When we are unhappy it is due to the perception in our minds of what we believe should be happening in our life not matching the current reality. This causes people to feel unhappy and can also lead to adding pressure and judgment towards ourselves for not having a certain way of life, living a certain way, looking a certain way, or acting in a way we believe we should."
Instead of forcing ourselves to cut out sugar, or to start working out or stop drinking wine, why not simply be kinder to yourself? It's the only resolution we should be focusing on. Why deny yourself of little luxuries and sources of joy? Why pressure yourself to go to the gym when it just makes you feel twice as self-conscious? We constantly preach about being kind but never extend the same graces to ourselves.
Rebecca said we need to prioritise caring for ourselves. Being kind to yourself should be your only resolution for 2023.
"Whenever you feel negative about something, or you say something negative towards yourself instead of taking it as a fact or a limitation, ask yourself a better question. By becoming curious about your negative thoughts it can help you to unblock your limitations and take further action and feel more fulfilled in life."
Listen to Adele and go easy on you in 2023.