People cheat, we know this.
Unfortunately, we all can't be lobsters, one relationship expert is convinced there are red flags to watch out for, and she's compiled a test to that effect.
Dr. Pam Spurr believes that having a good education means you're better equipped to seize opportunities and to cover your tracks.
She's identified
four main types of adulterer, look away now if you're in a healthy and happy relationship.
The Revenge artist: Payback.
The Opportunistic lover: These affairs generally happen where drinks are flowing and people are out of the normal environment. Usually these are one-offs and the cheat regrets it.
The Risk-taker:This person is a risk-taker, addicted to the buzz of infidelity (you'd be better off without these)
The Life-Changer Affair: This is the classic mid-life crisis that generally happens in middle age, a sense of panic which can be replaced by the excitement of an affair.
Ok, let's get into the test...
1 How much less sex do you have now compared to a year ago?
A Almost non-existent now
B About half as much
C About the same
2 Have you/they cheated in a previous relationship?
A Yes, I cheated in a previous relationship/they have
B I have come close to cheating/they have
C No, I haven’t/they haven’t to my knowledge
3 Would you agree that you/they are impulsive and act before thinking things through?
A Yes, I’m definitely impulsive/they are
B I’m quite impulsive/they are
C No, I think things through/they do
4 When angry, do you/they storm off without sorting out the issue?
A Yes, I just want to get out of any argument/they storm off
B Sometimes I want to escape when angry/sometimes they do
C No, I try to work things out even when angry/they do
5 Do you have very differing levels of sex drive?
A Yes, and it’s caused lots of problems
B Sometimes we have mismatched sex drives
C No, we have very similar sex drives
6 Do you/they daydream about what sex would be like with someone else?
A Yes, I do frequently/I worry they do
B Occasionally I think about this/I think they might
C No, not really/I doubt they do
7 Do you/they make up reasons to pass an attractive colleague’s desk to chat? Do you/they find ways to spend time with someone else you/they find attractive, such as at your local pub or gym?
A Yes, I’ve done this/I’m sure they do
B I’ve been tempted to/I think they might
C No, I wouldn’t do this/I don’t think they would
8 Do you/they lap up attention when someone pays you/them a compliment?
A Yes, it gives me a real buzz/I’m sure they would
B It’s quite nice/I think they might
C No, I don’t take those things seriously/I don’t think they would
9 Do you feel badly treated or neglected by your partner? Or would your partner feel this way about you?
A Yes, I definitely do/I’m sure they feel this way
B Sometimes I feel this way/they might feel this way
C No, I don’t feel like this/they wouldn’t feel like this
10 Do you and your partner still flirt with each other?
A No, any flirting stopped long ago
B Occasionally we flirt
C Yes, we flirt with each other
11 Do either of you throw out the ‘D’ word (divorce) in arguments?
A Yes, the ‘D’ word gets thrown around
B Once or twice it’s been used
C No, we’ve never used it
12 Do you secretly resent your partner and find it hard to express this or vice versa?
A Yes, I resent a lot of what they do and how they treat me/I’m sure they resent me
B Sometimes I do/sometimes they probably do
C No, I try to express difficult emotions/they express difficult emotions
13 How long have you been together?
A 4-11 years
B 1-3 years
C More than 12 years
14 Are you/they coming to an age milestone such as 30, 40, 50?
A Yes
B Just passed one
C No
15 What level of career success do you/they have?
A High achiever in my career/they’re a high achiever
B Mid-level success/they have mid-level success
C Not much success/they aren’t that successful
Well, How did you do?
5+ As: High risk of infidelity
RED ALERT! Things have to improve, it seems you're looking for attention elsewhere, Dr.Spurr advises you to spice up your sex life, make time for each other, and remember why you fall in love in the first place.
5+ Bs: Some risk of infidelity
You are at moderate risk, a re-assesment of the relationship might be worthwhile, you may think an innocent flirt is harmless but it could escalate.
5+ Cs: Low risk of infidelity
Although you or your partner are at low risk, if you’ve selected any “A” answers, it's not really the best news...
