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21st Feb 2017

The one word you should never use when speaking to your partner

Cathy Donohue

Best avoid this one.

Relationships can be tough going and both people need to put in the graft to make it work.

It can be easy let little grievances get in the way and take everyday frustrations out on each other but this can cause big problems down the line.

Andra Brosh, a psychologist based in Los Angeles, spoke to The Huffington Post about the phrases that can be damaging to a couple’s relationship.

One word that Andra advises staying away from is “never”.

It might sound a bit bizarre to banish a word from your vocabulary completely but Andra has talked us around.

According to this professional, using “never” in conversation can cause your partner to feel alienated.

Brosh explains:

“It’s a way of shutting your partner out while leaving them feeling hopeless.

“It creates a sense of finality which leaves no room for further discussion”.

It’s easy to see how it can have a negative implication and although we won’t get rid of it completely, we will be much more careful about how it is used, with partners and in everyday conversation.

Andra isn’t the only relationship expert who thinks that certain words and phrases can have a negative effect on a relationship if used on a regular basis.

Psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, a relationship expert with over 27 years experience, previously penned an article for Psychology Todayentirely dedicated to the importance of banning the word ‘should’ from relationships.

What’s the problem with should?

Bernstein says it can come out as an order or that you’re criticising your other half even if it’s not intentional.

“We need to acknowledge that many toxic thoughts begin with Should.

“In this way we tend to “should” all over our partners, and even if we think we’re only doing so in the privacy of our own minds, it can come out in our tone or actions, often leaving a partner experiencing a different word that begins with Sh. If you guessed that this word is shame, you’re correct”.