We live in a world where we are all in such a hurry, but there is no greater time than when you have a new baby to jump off the busy bus for a while.
While I know how tempting it is to throw the biggest party EVER to celebrate your new arrival, invite the entire neighbourhood and elect to do all the party food yourselves; in hindsight, you may actually regret it.
On both of our kids, we were just way too eager to get back to work and carry on as if nothing ever happened, when in fact we should have been all cosied up together, ignoring the outside world.
With that said, here are some of the dumb-ass things I did right after having babies.
1. Went to a wedding
I attending a wedding when Jacob was two weeks old. I was a brand new mum, hadn’t a bog’s notion of what I was doing, clueless about breastfeeding, leaked through two dresses AND smashed the breast pump across the room in frustration when we got home. I was glad to be at my friend’s wedding but really, I should have stayed at home and chilled out with my new little bundle.
2. Got back to work
I booked myself in to do a comedy show a month after my first baby was born. When agreeing to it while I was pregnant, I sort of thought, ‘Be grand’. As in, the baby will be outside of my body at that stage so that will work. I hadn’t factored in that the show was really physical, I had to wrap my middle with a physio bandage to keep it all together and.. where would the baby go? Oh yes, Alan had to be pulled out of work to hang out with a newborn backstage while we performed to approximately fourteen people every day for a week. Disaster.
3. Invited people over
I think we crammed about twenty-five people into our tiny home for an afternoon get-together when Jacob was born. Of course, you can say ‘2-5pm’ but someone will always arrive at 4 pm and then hang on until you are essentially getting into your pjs and calling it a day. Also, we provided booze and this was a HUGE mistake. I remember trying to feed Jacob in our room on a bed that was piled high with our guest’s coats, as they all partied at high volume in the sitting room. Not conducive to a peaceful beginning with your baby.
4. Went overboard on exercise
Even though you are told that you should start to feel back to normal approximately six weeks after giving birth, I went to a gym class when Eva was six weeks old and it WRECKED me. Like, I actually developed a ganglion cyst on my wrist from doing planks, ripped a muscle in my shoulder and felt way less shit than when I’d started out. Swimming, pilates or even just walking with the buggy should have been the order of the day for at least another month.
5. Moved house
Not once, oh no, but twice! Jacob was barely six month’s old when we first moved, and Eva was due to arrive in a matter of months when we bought our home. Cue awesome craic scrubbing and painting and lugging boxes with preggo belly and toddler in tow – NOT!
6. Set up a new business
Jacob’s arrival to the world coincided with our first year in business together with our engineering firm. I distinctly remember totally losing it in the maternity hospital cafeteria, because Alan was late and I was an emotional and weepy mess. Turns out he was at a VERY important business meeting, so he was. Grrrr….
7. Wrote and published a book
I was so determined to finish and publish a book after Eva was born that I spent every minute of her nap times furiously typing, researching how to publish a book and then planning a launch party. When I should have been, you know, ASLEEP. Duh.
8. Assuming that life would ever be the same again
Not only had I no idea how much our lives would change when we had kids, I had no idea how much WE would change too. I genuinely think that Alan and I are far better people now for having the kids in our lives; more compassionate, more conscientious about the world in general and most importantly, we are far happier than ever before. It’s hard not to be when you’ve succeeded in creating two little human beings who are so unbelievably good and adorable too!
Have you any things that you wish you didn’t do right after the baby was born? Share them in the comments!
