Doing virtually anything while pregnant, beyond watching One Born Every Minute and weeping, can be such a chore. When I was expecting, my main criteria for going anywhere was that it must be conducive to my going for an unexpected nap or taking my bra off at any moment. I imagine the Oscars is not nearly casual enough to meet these criteria.
The one exception I made to my pregnancy rules was attending my secondary school reunion. I was the full nine months pregnant. I draped myself in an oversized black dress, put on the only shoes I was prepared to tolerate at that stage and trudged out the door. One fantasises about returning triumphant (and svelte) to the school reunion, not looking like a boiled ham with legs but at least, I figured, I had an excuse (the baby).
Nobody even noticed that I was pregnant, which initially delighted me until I realised that they probably didn't notice because I was just that fat in secondary school. I trudged back home.
These glowing ladies show us how it's done when it comes to red carpet bump.
Watch The 87th Academy Awards on RTÉ2 on Monday, February 23, 9.00pm
