Living with a toddler is beyond craic, the toddler stage is, at times, how I imagine living with Bill Murray might be: Non-stop hilarity with occasional emotional outbursts.
It is also pretty reminiscent of chaperoning a tiny but adorable little drunk person around and attempting to keep them from a) destroying everything in the vicinity; b) harming themselves or others and c) keeping them away from the liquor cabinet.
10 reasons why living with a toddler is like living with a tiny belligerent drunk person
1. The SHOUTING
They just love shouting it’s adorable until it hits that obnoxious pitch.
2. Making virtually NO sense
Ah the incoherent babbling. Sometimes I actually wonder if english is not his first language. THAT or perhaps he is possessed by evil spirits and is actually speaking in tongues.
3. Falling down
A. LOT.
4. Bashing into things
A.LOT.
Never be a toddler and drive…
5. SOOOOOO goddamn belligerent
Toddlers, much like drunk people, won’t take discipline of ANY description.
6. RELENTLESS energy
Between maniacal laughing, constant dancing toddlers seem to have boundless reserves of partying in them.
7. Up ALL night
Toddlers can revel like a seasoned party animal but eventually all that shouting and falling over will get to them and they’re liable to take a nap like NOW (often in the most random of places…)
8. Fridge raiding
Ah that drunk 3 am hunger lasts all day for a toddler.
9. They can be a shade emotional
Know that person who always over does the gin and then cries at the bottom of the stairs because no one admired her shoes? It’s me okay, I admit it. Anyway toddlers like drunk people are on a permanent emotional roller coaster. There’s just a whole lotta feels.
10. NEVER wants to go home
“I’m fine, I’m fine… I don’t wanna go home.” The petulant refrain of toddlers and drunks everywhere.