Before having a baby my belly button had a kind of surprised ‘0’ expression, now instead it just looks like a sad upside down smile.
Of course, it goes without saying that the mum pouch is totally worth it for all the sticky kisses and leg-hugs and baby lols, but still I do get nostalgic for the old tummy that was not capable of doubling up as a blanket for my knees.
Pre-baby the tummy was really just a functionless, blank expanse, a kind of through-way between the boobs and the hips, now however the belly is more like an extra appendage in its own right. It also comes with a host of handy uses such as providing storage options for snacks and a ledge for The Child to sit on, though it no longer remotely resembles the traditional human stomach.
Here’s 10 creepy things my stomach reminds me of since having a baby:
1. Jaba the Hutt
2. Patrick from Spongebob Square Pants
3. Fat bastard
4. Homer Simpson, of course
5. When the belly’s particularly hungry, she reminds me of this lady
6. Weirdly this little guy
7. Ah the Paunch Puppet, everyone’s got the Paunch Puppet right? Hours of entertainment for The Man, The Child, randomers on the bus when The Child helpfully lifts my top to show the Paunch Puppet Show to innocent bystanders.
8. If I got creative with the markers THIS would definitely be achievable
9. Just like this little guy, she keeps me company when I’m sad…
10. THIS every night when I unleash the belly, The Man cannot resist the belly’s wily charms
