So obviously you approach parenthood with all kinds of notions and plans for what type of parent you will be.
Then inevitably the baby comes along and casually RUINS EVERYTHING. "How can I be my best, most loving, mothering self when you won't stop crying?" I found myself shrieking a few days in. Not what I'd had in mind when I'd pictured the beautiful bonding that would be taking place between my son and me.
I thought that I'd be one of those doting but no-nonsense type mums, one that's caring but not overly sentimental, like my own one basically. I felt certain that I wouldn't be going in for anything new-age or enlightened or mindful in my parenting processes. So how did I become a baby-wearing, semi-breastfeeding, co-sleeping mother who said things like "we're going to be late for craniosacral therapy"? I blame necessity (also known as desperation). I inadvertently stumbled into baby-led parenting. And you know what? I liked it.
10 steps to unwittingly becoming a co-sleeper:
1. Decide categorically that you will NOT be a co-sleeper
I didn't have anything particular against it per se; I was actually just unsure of how it would work. Was is safe? How would I not roll over in the night?
2. Embark on co-sleeping (accidentally if you're me)
I had a c-section and on the first night that my son was born they put him in the plastic box beside the bed. At some point, he woke up squawling that heart-wrenching newborn cry (that, btw, you'll find you actually miss once they become a full-blown screaming toddler). I rang the bell for the midwife as I couldn't get out of bed and she offered to put the baby in the nursery. I thought it didn't bode well to banish him to the nursery at the first sign of crying, so I asked her to hand him to me instead. And that is how we came to sleep together on his first night of life... because I physically couldn't put him back in the box, and it was kind of nice having him there with me.
3. Think to yourself: "Maybe he'll prefer the Moses basket?"
Put the child in the Moses basket. He does NOT prefer the Moses basket. Continue co-sleeping.
4. Quietly start to suspect that co-sleeping may be the best thing ever
Spend large chunks of the night staring at his perfect little head in your arms.
5. Tell no one about the co-sleeping
People (my mother) will try to tell you that you are making a rod for your back and that the baby will NEVER sleep on his own. Best to ignore, especially as at this stage you may be wondering the same thing (know this: The Child stopped co-sleeping when he was ready to stop... and sometimes I really miss it).
6. Feel relieved when you "come clean" to a friend about the co-sleeping
"Sure where else would they sleep?" She quite reasonably responds, and you realise that quite possibly a lot of us are at it.
7. Start to notice that co-sleeping and night feeds are the best bedfellows (pun intended)
The Child starts to simply help himself. I'll let that image sit with you for a few minutes. Sure it was jarring the first time I woke up to find that he had latched on of his own accord, then I was sort of impressed – he was barely capable of supporting his own head at this point.
8. Observe that the co-sleeping is helping with the new motherhood mania
With a bit of distance I now suspect that I had
PND in the months after The Child was born, at the time I was too afraid to be honest about my feelings but in a deep, dark place (it felt like somewhere to the left of the pit of my stomach) I was afraid that I wasn't bonding with my son very well. Breastfeeding was VERY challenging for me and in those times when I was really beating myself up about that, the co-sleeping was a way of feeling needed and close to my son. It was prolonged, night-long cuddling, and I think it was beneficial for both of us.
9. The Man got a break
The Child and I co-slept in the baby's room so that The Man could get more rest. This perhaps sounds slightly 50s throwbacky, but it worked really well for us as in the mornings he could take over for a few hours and give me some extra rest.
10. It felt right for us
Co-sleeping is not strictly recommended by health professionals however I am confident that it was right for us and, in my opinion "follow your instinct" is the only piece of parenting advice worth following. Unless of course your instinct is to have 'I Love Mum' tattooed on your infant, in which case "seek professional advice" might be a better route to go.
Safe Sleep for Baby
HSE Guidelines 
