20 bedtime tweets that hilariously capture every parent's nightly struggle
When it comes to little kids, bedtime can be an absolute battle.
And it's mostly down to the fact that the reasons for not going to bed are seemingly endless - well, at least to them.
There's the countless requests for just one more story; the 72 glasses of water (and, of course, the equal number of trips to the bathroom); and checking for monsters under the bed/in the closets.
And, you know, just generally not wanting to go to sleep.
Basically, when it comes time to get the little ones tucked in for the night, the struggle is real - and it feels like whatever you do, the nighttime ritual may just last until the early hours of the morning.
Thankfully, the parents of Twitter understand. Or, at least, are able to relate and find some LOL-worthy humour in the chaos of bedtime routines.
Whether you're struggling to get your little one to actually stay in bed and nod off, or simply looking to commiserate after the never-ending stream of stories - you're definitely not alone mama.
So, here are 20 tweets about that 'hour'-long bedtime routine that are all too real.
Kids will take anything you say literally unless you say it’s bedtime.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 23, 2020
You ever watch a scene so ridiculous it just ruins the whole movie? I saw one last night where the dad read his kid a single bedtime book then the kid said "goodnight" and closed his eyes peacefully. Absurd.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 15, 2019
Me: How was school today?
Me: Do anything fun today?
Kid: Guess what happened at school?
— Val (@ValeeGrrl) February 11, 2015
Me: Alright, there’s no more crying during the bedtime routine.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 8, 2020
What circle of Hell have you entered when your 4 and 2 year-olds synch up their bedtime tantrums?
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) May 24, 2020
The game show Let's Make A Deal,
but me bribing my kids to stay in bed.
— Marl (@Marlebean) May 2, 2016
during bedtime the toddler announced there is a second "purple mommy" who appears at night someone help pls help
— Chantal Braganza (@chantalbraganza) January 7, 2019
Me: Time to get ready for bed.
7yo: But I'm not at Mommy Mode yet.
Me: What's that?
7yo:Mommy Mode means I'm tired.
Well, he's not wrong.
— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) February 9, 2016
Your kid falling asleep on their own from sheer exhaustion and liberating you from the bedtime routine is like the "Get Out of Jail Free" card of parenting.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 10, 2020
I'm pretty sure putting kids to bed is the real Neverending story.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) September 20, 2016
I made the mistake of telling my toddler he had to stay in bed until it’s light outside during the winter. Now he thinks it’s okay to get up at 5:15 am. #MomFail
— Hashtag MomFail (@hashtagmomfail) May 31, 2018
You think your kid will go to sleep earlier & easier because he didn't have a nap THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS DUMBASS WELCOME TO HELL
— keith (@tchrquotes) September 8, 2015
Bedtime diary 8:32 pm: the children have never been so thirsty. They need water. Lots of water. And ice. 3 cubes to be exact. NOT THAT CUP!
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 30, 2015
— Amanda (@simplyamanda83) May 15, 2018
Me: "You're going to bed in 5 minutes."
6yo: *bends the laws of space and time to make 5 minutes last 4 hours*
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) January 17, 2017
Parents with young children - this chart shows you what time your child should wake up depending on their bedtime. pic.twitter.com/CjqfVHnHvi
— Graeme (@astrotomato) June 4, 2016
Hang tight, I just need to run upstairs really quick and spend three hours begging my toddler to go to sleep.
— Justin Guarini (@JustinGuarini) August 18, 2015
Me: Your mom told you to stay in bed.
3-year-old: There's a scary monster in my closet
Me: Scarier than Mom?
3: *goes to bed*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 28, 2016
I never knew how long it took a human to fall asleep until I had kids. In case you're wondering it's 2 hours, 3 cups of water, & 18 books.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) May 31, 2016
Oh, you’re one of those parents with a bedtime routine as opposed to yelling GO TO BED from the couch every 10 minutes for 2 hours.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 20, 2020