When you're preparing for your first child, there's a lot of daydreaming and pleasant anticipation of the forthcoming little Messiah.
Lots of aspects of parenthood are predictable like how amazing it is seeing your baby's smile for the first time. But then there's also a whole host of other little things you'd never have thought of that are indescribably brilliant also, like the first time the baby farts in your hand.
17 Little-known Brilliant Things About Parenthood:
1. Leg Hugs
So f*cking cute. I had never thought about leg hugs prior to receiving one, and now they're hands down my favourite style of hug.
2. Toddlerisms
The Child recently called The Man's penis 'Dinosaur'. Weird and completely hilarious.
3. Free pass to drink all the wine and eat all the cake
You made a human you can do whatever you want now, you barely even have to be nice to people anymore.
4. The burrowing in
The little baby snuggling in is freakin' A-DOR-ABLE.
5. The head smell
Or really the whole head, neck, shoulders, face, body smell. It's intoxicating.
6. The chub
Sometimes I just want to give that chub a friendly little bite. And I do. It's irresistible.
7. The feeling of little hands on your face
It feels like a little massage given by the whispers of unicorns.
8. The smell of milk-breath
It's weirdly sweet and lovely.
9. The exhaustion
Okay so it's verging on crippling at times, but there's also something to be said for exhaustion as a fabulous excuse for avoiding virtually any unappealing social engagement from hen parties to your in-laws. Boom.
10. The first time they say 'Muma!'
I will admit, though, the 867,984th time they say 'Muma' in a two hour period it does start to grate a little.
11. People are nice to you and mind you
Soak it up; I hear this diminishes with each additional child.
12. The friends you make
There ain't no friend like a mum-friend. Having kids is like entrance into a club of lactating legends who truly understand you and won't judge you for having wine thirst at 11 am on a Wednesday.
13. Breastfeeding is really, really, REAAAAALLLY nice
It's satisfying like sneezing or yawning and so, so relaxing, like a giant glass of wine.
14. Seeing your partner become a dad
The transformation is really lovely. I think when we're pregnant we wonder so much about what kind of mother we'll be, that we forget to wonder what kind of parent our partner will be.
15. The first-time you hear your very own Mum Voice
My Mum Voice sounds like I'm barking like a dog when I shout my son's name. I've no idea why, it's involuntary, it just came out like that.
16. The absolute LOLs
Babies are craic-merchants of the highest order.
17. Baby farts
They are just better than general farts. Especially when the baby looks kind of startled by the fart or even better: amused.
