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Parenting

27th Oct 2015

5 ways life with my child reminds me of The Exorcist

Is he spirited? Or actually possessed by evil spirits...

Sophie White

There are certain things my toddler son does that have started to come across as a bit, well, demonic. Sometimes when he is babbling it sounds almost like he is speaking in tongues, and occasionally he will suddenly stare past me at absolutely nothing which is a bit scary when I’m on my own with him. Anyone else’s child do this weird starring thing? Is he communing with spirits behind my back? Paranoid? Yes. But still, here are the five ways life with my child reminds me of The Exorcist. 

1 He recently learned to go down the stairs. The first few times he tried to go down head first, and I corrected him and pretty soon he got the hang of crawling down backwards. I marvelled at his ingenuity. Gradually, however, he has begun the run up to the stairs from further and further away which has lead to a creepy backwards crawling method that looks all kinds of wrong.


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2 Before you have a child you think reports of the range and capabilities of projectile vomiting has been vastly overstated, but then they do this…


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3 When in the throws of a stage 10 shitfit I always think of this bit (and yes I do kind of cower in terror while he’s raging).


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4 When he gives me this stare usually because I wouldn’t let him play with bleach or eat face cream.


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5 When he is absolutely trashing the house, and it looks like this (which is all the time).


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