No biggie but I just spent a night away from my daughter for the first time. (She’s 20 months old.)
Although there’s no right or wrong answer as to when you ‘should’ spend a first night away from your baby (or toddler/schoolchild/teenager), I’m told 20 months is a long time to wait.
I’m not sure why it took this many months, but I do know I didn’t feel ready for the first twelve. Not only that but the opportunity to go away just didn’t come up (not that I wanted it to). What I didn’t anticipate was that it would be another eight months after her first birthday when I would get to go.
So when the opportunity for a trip away did arise recently, I was raring to go (sort of). A good friend of mine was holding her hen do back home in Liverpool, which meant I was technically spending my first night away from my daughter ABROAD.
Needless to say, we all survived – the toddler, husband and I. But for anyone who has a child-free night away coming up, here are a few things I learnt from my recent jaunt…
1. Get a taxi to the airport/train station
There’s something about airport departures and railway platforms that make goodbyes all the more emotional. If you’re travelling by plane or train, don’t ask whoever is staying at home with the child for a lift. I was dropped off and there were tears – mostly mine but some hers. Although my husband did ‘reassure’ me when I called two minutes after they left that she was crying because she wanted to get out the car. Not because she missed me already. Yeah, cheers.
2. Ask whoever is at home for updates MINUS the pictures
Of course you’ll want updates to let you know that everything at home is A-OK, but what you WON’T want is a picture like the one below when you’re out in a club at 2am. Can’t make out the writing in the sand? It says, “Esme loves Mummy.” Cue tears. Followed by an Espresso Martini. And a shot of tequila. You know, just to get over the picture.
3. Ditch the guilt
Easier said than done but make the most of your night away. After all, it could be another 20 months before you get another one. (Not really – already got my next two in the diary.) While we’re all for ditching the guilt, however, make sure when ‘letting it go’ to leave the Elsa impersonations at home.
4. Brush up on current affairs (or something other than parenting)
After spending two hours in the hotel spa stuck in a conversation about leaky boobs and blocked ducts, I realised something very important: talking non-stop about anything parenting related when you’re away from your child isn’t strictly classed as being away. You might be physically apart, but it’s REALLY hard to switch off from Mummy Mode when all you’re doing is talking about the fact you’re a Mummy. Use the time wisely and do things you don’t usually do – like chatting about current affairs; or, let’s face it, sleeping and drinking….
5. Never forget about The Hangover
When you’re away from home, it’s easy to forget (once you’ve stopped talking about boobs) that you’re a reasonably responsible adult who made and birthed a human not that long ago; however, try not to forget about the following day’s journey home, and the small child who will be waiting to greet you at the end of it. If all the excitement gets in the way of curbing any drinking, top up with water when possible. If all else fails, follow these hard and fast rules for surviving a hangover as a parent.
6. DON’T expect a fanfare when you get home
When I received a text to say I was being picked up in the arrivals hall, I got slightly carried away by thoughts of balloons, flowers, ‘Esme loves Mummy’ signs and open arms all waiting to greet me. In reality, I was left waiting in arrivals for almost 30 minutes before racing outside to be picked up at the drop-off by a stressed husband and cranky toddler who had to be woken from her nap. Welcome home me.
