“Ugh, parents are the WORST”
– Every toddler EVER.
Poor, put upon toddlers, you’ve got to feel for them. There they are just happily going about their day, wielding a scissors they’ve found down the back of the couch, or trying to pull the TV down on top of them, when we parents (pesky, ridiculous people that we are) intervene in an attempt to, you know, SAVE them from grievous bodily harm.
10 Times My Toddler Just Had NO Patience For My UTTER Ineptitude!
1. When I had the NERVE to wake him up with a lovely smile and a cuddle
“Go ‘Way, Muma,” came the petulant response from the toddler/pre-pre-pre-teenager that I live with.
2. When I lovingly suggested that we change into some clean, dry clothes
I KNOW. What was I thinking? What kind of MONSTER would deprive a child of wearing a sodden pair of pajamas all day long?
3. When I gently tried to help him down the stairs
“Go ‘Way, Muma,” came his petulant little catchphrase. How does he put up with me? I am THE WORST.
4. When I cut the toast wrong
IDIOT! I am a fool; I don’t deserve to live.
5. When I suggested that he was overreacting to the whole toast episode
I take it from The Toddler’s continued, even louder screaming, that I am wrong and that he is not overreacting remotely to the toast setback. My mistake, I apologise.
6. When I then ATE SOME OF THE TOAST
Oh wow, this was not cool. I’m now frantically trying to regurgitate it and piece it back together, but this does not fly with the toddler who is looking at me like I’m the hands-down worst person he’s ever met.
7. When I tried to start the whole toast process again, this time cutting the toast correctly
His look says it all: “You are a ridiculous person, and I am barely tolerating your ineptitude right now…”
8. When I insisted on smothering him with kisses, despite his squirming protests
He’s hating every minutes of this clearly but ya know what?
“You cannot overpower me, mwahaha ha haha, I outweigh you by about nine stone you’re just gonna have to tolerate my over zealous affections for a few more years.”
“Love conquers ALL”
– Parents of toddlers
