Half Of All Mothers LIE About Co-Sleeping For Fear Of Being Judged

Confession: I would have never thought myself the co-sleeping kind prior to having children. And yet, when both my baby girl and baby boy came along, that's exactly what I ended up doing.  Not because I am practicing any kind of die-hard attachment parenting style, simply because it was what felt the most natural to us. I was feeding them myself, and having them in bed with me made the whole night feeds a doddle – to the extent that I never (on two babies) found myself up and out of bed during the night. Which, you know, has been all sorts of amazing. Many factors played in, of course, like the fact that I, when my little girl was newborn, was alone with her a lot as my other half finished his MA in the UK. And so being just us two most nights, we were both happier when we could snuggle together in that big bed, I think. What usually happened, was that I would settle her for the night (usually by feeding her until she was fast asleep - gasp!) and put her down in her own cot beside my bed. Then, a few hours later, when I was going to bed myself, I would lift her sleepy little self into bed with me, where we would sleep as snuggled up as only a mama and her baby can be. As she approached her first birthday, my little girl would sleep in her own cot some nights, other nights in with me. Basically, whatever ensured we all got a good night sleep was – and remains – my motto. Some nights that meant daddy camping out in the (perfectly lovely and very peaceful) spare room, something I think kept us all happy. I slept better knowing that the kids were happy, he slept beautifully undisturbed and in a king sized bed to himself. Win/win. And when our little boy joined the family, this remained the pattern. L would sleep in his cot some nights, with me most nights, and sometimes his big sister would join in too. And me? I would be happily squished between them, breathing in my beautiful sleeping babies (while daddy got all the sleep he needed in the spare room). And while this scenario might seem like hell to some, to us it has ensured six years of not having to pace the floor or settle crying babies in the middle of the night. The thing is, while many won't admit to it, studies have shown that pretty much half of all mothers do indeed share a bed with their babies and toddlers every now and again. And yet so very few will talk about it or even admit to being occasional co-sleepers. UK-based website Gentle Parenting recently commissioned a study of 600 parents which found that 46 percent of parents hadn't admitted to sharing a bed with their newborns to a GP, midwife or health visitor about co-sleeping for fear of being judged. Sarah Ockwell-Smith of Gentle Parenting did the research for her new book, Why Your Baby's Sleep Matters, and is now encouraging mothers – and fathers – to be up front with their health professionals, so they at least can be given the correct advice about a safe way to do so. Ockwell-Smith, who herself is a mother-of-four, recently told MailOnline: "NICE (The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence) don't say, "Don't bed share." They say parents should be helped to make an informed choice." The problem is that the matter is still so taboo, thinks the author, that many parents won't admit to it for fear of being judged – "or even reported to social services." "Many people won't even tell their friends or family," she explains. In the study, many mums explained how they lied to their doctors and community nurses about co-sleeping, and how doing it was the only thing that would ensure sleep for them and baby, but that they felt worried about how the professionals would react if they had been honest about their sleeping arrangements.