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22nd October 2017
12:20am BST
Here's how to survive bringing the kids swimming when you're flying solo:
1. Tog out at home
As our pool is a half-hour drive away, there was no point in getting the baby into togs as the swim nappy wouldn't have lasted the car journey. But I got myself and Jacob into togs in advance so, two down.
2. Dress everyone down
Speed is key when it comes to survival in the dressing rooms. Complicated button-down shirts or tights are an absolute nightmare to deal with so get everyone into tracksuits and slip-on shoes. This is more for YOU than the kids because once they're dressed after the swim, you get exactly 4.8 seconds to sort yourself out.
3. One bag, two lockers
Bring the right change so that you can get two lockers. Yes, you arrived with only one bag (PS make sure it's a backpack of some sort so that your hands are free) but once you take off everyone's coats and shoes, you literally won't believe how much stuff you have between the lot of you.
4. Pee first, always
There's something about all that water that sends everyone into a pee frenzy. Pee before you leave the house, pee before you start getting everyone undressed, pee before you get into the pool and pee before you empty the lockers again. Otherwise, you will end up like me, with a nude toddler, a half-dressed baby and a mother with her swimming hat askew, running through the dressing room at high speed, hoping no one robs the keys to the car.
5. Family room-only
Most family-friendly pools with have family-sized changing rooms complete with changing table, and a seat you can securely strap a toddler into when you need them contained and safe for a minute. Most importantly, they have loads of room for you, the kids and all their stuff, so if there isn't one available when you arrive, I'd wait the extra few minutes until one is free. They are definitely worth it.
6. Start the countdown early
My kids don't really have any concept of time, so I gave them five minutes in the pool and then gave it the 'Ten Minute Countdown!'. I mean, we obviously ended up being there for longer than fifteen minutes in total but I was so trying to avoid any meltdowns when it came to getting out time that I wanted to give Jacob loads of advance warning. And it worked! (this time, eh?)
7. Grub it up
When you're getting one kid dressed after a swim, feed the other. When you're getting dressed, feed everyone. Bring nice little complicated food items like raisins, crips, rice cakes, baby bottles, drinks - anything that takes longer than three minutes to eat so that you can get dressed and packed up in relative peace.
8. Wrap up warm
It's always roasting inside the pool area and dressing room and always freeeeeezing outside. You can of course dry everyone's hair inside but get ready to shove hats on before you walk out the door and back to the car.
9. Be like Forty Coats
Wear a coat with large pockets. The level of multitasking that is required at a swimming pool is second-to-none. You will have all the swimming essentials in a bag on your back and a child in each hand (or one on your hip!). So you'll need pockets for tissues, bottles, wallet, phone, keys and the 'mammy will you hold this?' items too.
10. Leave your inhibitions behind
The logistics of bringing the kids swimming was tricky at times, but I really had a blast. We went for it with the splashing, the waves, the two kids clung to my neck as we spun around the 'river', we even got into the kiddie-friendly jacuzzi. Did anyone see my arse cheek as I picked Eva up for the gazillionth time because she wouldn't hold my hand? Probably, but I didn't really give a damn because we were having so much fun.Explore more on these topics:
