The last taboo? Hating your husband after you’ve had a baby…

It's often said that babies will make or break your relationship.

However, there is another status that isn't really spoken of - that of simmering resentment. Indeed, some women will quietly admit that in the months and even years following the birth of their children, they hated their spouses. Look, there's no doubt that modern parents share the responsibility of raising a family far more evenly than before; certainly, you'd be hard-pushed to find a dad these days who doesn't change nappies and get up in the middle of the night. However, by our nature women are expert multitaskers and while dads might be content enough to put their feet up after putting the kids to bed, mums are more likely to start cleaning, getting uniforms and lunches ready, or cooking a meal. It's an issue tackled in one book. How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids is written by Jancee Dunn - an author who found that after she had her baby, she ended up doing almost all the household chores... even though she and her husband, Tom, worked equal hours. "Before we became parents, my husband Tom and I were one of those annoying couples that almost never fought. Then our daughter was born, and we began to battle so much that we considered splitting," she told Cosmopolitan.com. Admitting that she was on the brink of marital Armageddon, Ms Dunn plunged into relationship research, seeking out couples and sex therapists, talking to fellow parents... and even consulting an FBI hostage negotiator. "Adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate - and rebuild - your marriage," the book describes. Thankfully, Jancee and her husband also eventually "work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children". And her work has garnered pretty positive reviews. "This book is a very valuable addition to the whole huge transition to becoming parents," wrote relationship author John Gootman. "This book can help preserve the greatest gift you will ever give your baby: a loving relationship between the baby's parents." "If your husband has a better relationship with his phone than he does with his baby, you need to hit him with this book - and then ask him to read it," said another best-selling author, Jen Mann, after reading it. Meanwhile, writer Faith Salie stated: "I already knew I loved my husband, but Jancee Dunn's book makes me realize how much I owe it to my kids to love their father harder and more visibly." Here, are Jancee's top tips for a successful union post-baby. You can order her book from Amazon here. 1) Sit down and divvy up your household chores "It’s boring, I know. Pour some wine if you have to. But it’s crucial to clearly divide all aspects of housework and child care."

2) Don’t shut your partner out 

Mothers are prone to taking over completely - so the male partner becomes more and more uncertain of his abilities and retreats. So ease up on the controlling and include your spouse whenever possible. "If he feeds our child dinner and doesn’t include a vegetable, the kid will survive," says Jancee.

3) Just do it

Immediately after a baby, often the last thing on your mind is sex - "but make sure you touch regularly to maintain closeness," advises Jancee. "Then, when you’re feeling ready, observe the Nike slogan and just do it. You may not be into it at first, but those happy chemicals that sex produces are good for you too and help you feel more connected to your partner."

4) When possible, fight electronically

Here's food for thought: University Of Oregon researchers measured brain activity in babies and discovered that infants as young as six months react negatively to angry, argumentative voices. "So if a dispute revs up, pull out your phones to battle it out. And the act of writing just may clarify your thoughts and calm you down."