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21st April 2024
12:02pm BST
A new Mum has sparked debate online after sharing that she banned her grandparents from changing her baby's nappy in order to 'protect' his privacy.
The woman shared the post on mumsnet.com.
Using the username 'Mum070322', she wrote: "I’m very keen on consent and protecting my baby’s privacy and prefer that only myself and my partner are the ones to change DS (darling son's) nappy ( 6 months )."
She continued: "Obviously I understand if we’re not available due to nursery eventually or if someone else is babysitting then I’m happy for someone else to do it however this has not yet been the case.
"A while ago my MIL was over and my baby started crying and rather than just give him back decided to take it upon herself to change him (I was standing right there) he continued crying throughout the change and she gave him back straight after but it annoyed me as it wasn’t her place to change him.
"I didn’t say anything at the time DS was 4 months and I was trying to be nice and friendly but starting to find her more overbearing and I’m getting close to drawing a line."
The post received over 500 comments - with some siding with her, while others criticised her decision.
A poll attached to the thread had over two and a half thousand votes, with a whopping 95% voting that the mother was being unreasonable.
One person commented: "You are being unreasonable. If you don’t trust grandparents to change baby’s nappy they shouldn’t be seeing baby.
"If you do, no issue. Babies don’t need consent no matter how keen you are on it."
A user going by the name Yamaya said: "It's good to be aware but you do sound paranoid. They are related and you were right there watching.
"Did something happen to you as a child? If so, maybe you need therapy to talk through things.
"Or maybe you could have said, it's OK I can do that or something."
Someone with the username GAW19 wrote: "I think this is something you seriously need to address with yourself.
"First of all, all my family members have offered to change nappies, and 9/10 it's because they're being helpful and just giving me a tiny break. I think it's a lovely thing for them to do."
They added: "I really don't understand why you feel the way you do. But it does seem like you have your own underlining problem.
"If you can't trust immediate family to change a nappy then, well, your child is going to grow up with you literally obsessing over 'privacy' for them."
Others suggested that the mother may have an agenda against their mother-in-law, and that's the real reason behind the ban.
Jellycatspyjamas wrote: "So nursery workers or babysitters can change your child but their grandparent can’t?
"I suspect this is more about your feelings towards your mother-in-law than anything to do with privacy and consent (consent being a ridiculous concept for a small baby who has no capacity to give informed consent at that age)."
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