Your hospital bag is packed with military precision; the newborn baby clothes have been washed in non-bio and air dried in a meadow; the nursery has been painted in gender-neutral taupe; all that's left now is to welcome baby and chill out for six months, right?
Eh, no... not quite.
When it comes to maternity leave, first-time mums and non-parents tend to view those precious weeks through rose-tinted glasses.
Here are just a few of the ways reality may not quite measure up to the dream. The best thing? Sometimes reality is much more satisfying.
1. "I'll turn myself into Super Mum"
If you are accustomed to running a large department at work and handling everything like a boss in the office, you probably have high expectations for yourself as a mum. That's great, but remember to give yourself a break if the going gets tough. Accept the help of friends and family when they offer and spend some time taking care of yourself so that you can be the best mum you can be.
2. "Baking and flower arranging will fill my days while the baby sleeps."
Unless you've always dreamed of spending your mornings whipping up fresh scones and pastries, don't expect motherhood to change your personality. Hormones can put some weird ideas into your head, so you may be imagining yourself as some kind of Nigella/Martha Stewart hybrid. If you have a free minute after the baby arrives, use it to do something that will help you feel like yourself again, whether that's a facial and a blow-dry or a hike up a big mountain in the pouring rain.
3. "I'll take up jogging and lose all my baby weight within weeks!"
Stop right there, mama. Don't do it to yourself. Being a mum to a tiny bundle of neediness is exhausting. To give it your best shot, you'll need to be nourished and (relatively) rested, that means taking it all kinds of easy. By all means, take a stroll in the fresh air and eat healthily, but don't put pressure on yourself to do a celebrity-style 'bounce back'. It took nine months to grow that baby so you should allow at least nine months to recover your strength at your own pace.
4. "I'll be bored and missing work long before I'm due to go back"
Ask anyone who's given birth recently; that gnawing feeling about checking emails and brainstorming the future of the company is replaced, at least temporarily, by more pressing matters involving breast pads and the specific shade and texture of poop.
5. "I'll finally get around to reading that stack of books on the bedside table!"
Newsflash: carrying a fussy baby and holding a book in your free hand is a feat that only the muscular arms of Jennifer Aniston could pull off for more than five minutes. The good news is that you will almost certainly finish an entire season of
The Gilmore Girls between feeds.
Advertorial feature brought to you by SMA® Baby Club.
The SMA® Baby Club promises to be with parents for every stumble, and step, as they discover what the journey holds from bump to birth. The SMA Careline® is available 24/7 for mums (and dads) to get any help or support they need.
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