Our A-Z of first-time parenthood series continues with 'F' which is for feeding, 'failure to thrive', formula and friends. And f*ck ,obvi.
F is for F*ck...
As in "F*******ck! What do we do now that we have a baby?" Read on....
F is for feeding...
The subject of feeding babies is a strangely contentious one. Breast-feeding, formula-feeding or combination feeding. For some reason, whichever you opt for will become some kind of statement of intent. However you choose to do it, keeping the baby fed and watered is pretty important. It will probably become something of an obsession once you have a baby around. In fact, even before the baby was out we were a bit caught up in the whole feeding thing. A recurring pregnancy nightmare focused on forgetting to feed the baby not realising just how easy this actually is to do once you give birth, stop sleeping and lose all sense of time or reality. Luckily the babies are pretty good at reminding you it's feeding time. During pregnancy well-meaning strangers often asked whether we were planning on breastfeeding — at that point we were planning on an all-natural birth, having the child self-soothing themselves to sleep every night and baby-led potty training. So we may indeed have given quite a definitive answer to this question, not realising that babies love the element of surprise and once the child was born the act of planning was effectively over.
F is for 'failure to thrive'...
Depending on who you ask 'failure to thrive' is a phrase used by health professionals that either describes stalled growth in an infant for a variety of reasons. Or it is a phrase propagated by the anti-breast feeding conspiracy to dissuade new mothers from continuing with their breastfeeding efforts. Deep in the internet, breast-feeding extremists even ponder whether health professionals are in league with formula companies to rid the world of breastfeeding to boost sales of formula. For the most part, we feel that standardising the development of babies is a problematic one. We all grow at different rates but being told that your baby is too small, too big or too anything is never nice. If you are breastfeeding and lose faith – after all there's no gauge on a boob to show you how much the baby has had – the best thing to do is weigh the baby before and after a feed. You can see them literally filling up with milk, magic! And get yourself a lactation consultant aka a fairy boob mother.
F is for formula...
Formula again depending on who you ask formula is a perfectly reasonable form of nourishment for a growing baby, or it is tantamount to child abuse. We say go with your gut and ignore the haters.
F is for friends...
Friends with kids. We cannot stress ENOUGH the importance of friends with kids. If none of your friends have children when you embark on the pregnancy, then it is essential to source some immediately. Prenatal classes are a veritable hotbed of potential new friends. Focus on other lonely souls like yourself, the ones who timed their pregnancies to coincide with their sister-in-law won't appreciate your creepy advances. Mum-friends are the only ones who will have the patience to pour over the minutiae of newborn sleep patterns or have the stomach for comparing snaps of stool samples. Set up a coffee morning with like-minded mums on the imeedj, it will be a maternity leave life-line.
