Parenting your twins (or triplets, even) can mean double the work but it will also mean double the love and the fun, so the pay-off is brilliant.
And still, I accept that the prospect of twins and the inevitable sleepless nights with new babies can be daunting for anyone – whether you are first time parents or have been at the parenting lark for years.
Sleeping arrangements for multiples
I recently read a study from Durham University that was looking into the sleeping arrangements (not the sleep habits or routines) of twins. It looked at WHERE the babies slept, as opposed to how well they slept. Over half of the families would have had their newborns sleep in the same cot (oh the cuteness!) up to around one month old. Many of them had moved to separate cots by the time they were three months old. While it was unclear whether or not they were in their own room together or in their parents’ rooms, I know from experience that many multiples will in fact never sleep in the parents room with them. Certainly in the case of triplets, they may go straight into a separate room, with one parent moving in with them rather than the other way around. So when the time comes for them to sleep alone, mum or dad will move out, back to the comfort of their own bed.
And while safe sleep guidelines suggest that babies should sleep with one or both parents for the first six months, many of the families involved in the study had “evicted” the little ones by the three-month mark.
So, what’s the right thing to do?
Honestly, you pick a sleeping arrangement that works for your family and don’t worry about what other people did. You will know by now that there will be lots of well-meaning advice given, but follow your own instincts while bearing in mind that it may take a little trial and error before you find your groove.
A number of options are available when newborn twins or multiples come home for the first time. Depending on the hospital policy, the twins may have shared a cot right from the beginning. Many premature twins, however, will have spent a little time away from each other during the first days or weeks of life
Co-bedding refers to twins or multiples sharing a bed with each other, i.e. the babies sleep together in the same cot. In the early weeks you might think they are blissfully unaware of each other, but you may find that they get great comfort from each other by sleeping in this way, and are often calmer when their sibling is beside them. But this arrangement might not last too long. Once your twins or triplets are able to move around a little, they may begin to disturb or startle each other during the night, and this may put an end to the practical advantages of cot sharing. Twins should not share small cribs or Moses baskets, as they may overheat in such a limited space.
If your cot is big enough, one way of positioning twins to keep them together for just a little longer would be to place both babies in the cot, with their heads in the middle of the cot and their feet pointing towards opposite ends of it. In general though, from around six months of age, most twin babies will sleep better while occupying their own sleep space.
Napping and night time with more than one infant
Like I have said in
previous pieces, routines don’t have to be too convoluted and need to be manageable even when there is only one parent is present. The same ‘rules’ apply with twins in terms of encouraging good sleep habits. Yes, daytime will be busier, but if you can manage to get them both on the same schedule, you will be more likely to get a well-deserved break (whatever that is) for at least one big nap during the day. Having a structure can be really beneficial, as you will be less likely to end up confused. Without it, you may end up asking yourself ‘Who did I feed?’ or ‘Who hasn’t slept well?’.
Overnight, you may find that you are lucky enough to have two good sleepers. But if you don’t, you will need to decide which baby to tend to first. More often than not, one baby will look for more from you than the other. You may have one noisy baby and one baby who is generally a little calmer. My advice, if they both wake during the night and don’t need feeding, is to tend to the calmer baby first. Make sure the first twin remains settled before attending to the culprit.
So, while on the surface you may imagine that it is going to be less likely that you will be able to manage two at the same time, the reality is that once you get the basics right and have a little structure to your lives, twin parenting can hopefully be manageable. Honestly. You just might need to be a little more organised!
No Fuss Baby & Toddler Sleep by Niamh O'Reilly is published by Mercier Press and is available to buy now from all good book stores or online from Amazon.com.
