Ger is a special needs parent who lives in a world where she can only hope she gets a next week, a next month. She writes her blog to remind herself that Ethan brings her so many laughs, giggles and amazing experiences. Hunter Syndrome is always in the background, where it belongs.
We had it planned. It wasn't decided on a whim... it was a very well thought out and organised trip to the supermarket. Today we were going to be like any other family, doing everyday 'simple' things.
We loaded the three boys into the car.
"Ready?" D looked at me before he turned the key in the ignition. "Yep" I exhaled as I clipped my seat belt in place. "Here we go." D started the car and backed out of the driveway.
During the drive to the supermarket, D and I ran through our plan. We were prepared, we were ready, we were going to have a successful trip to the supermarket... this time.
When we arrived, Baby D was happy to be relieved from the constraints of his car seat, only to be upset by the constraints of a shopping trolley. "That's life baby" I said, as I kissed his forehead.
D helped Ethan from the car. J hopped from one leg to another, "Can I, can I?" I cut him off, "No J, no toys, no looking at toys. You'll stay with us until we are done, like we told you already." I looked at him, eye-to-eye, hoping this would indicate that Mom was serious.
“So I can’t see toys. Can I look at books then? Can I? Can I?” I gripped the trolley tighter, clenched my teeth, bent down to J, “I said no, now that’s it." I caught up to D and Ethan while J sulked. So far, so good. Very much like any other family, a baby babbling in the trolley seat, a father holding one son's hand while another son sulked openly and honestly.
“Okay, here we go!” D winked at me. We stood eyeing-up the other customers. Not too many... this was a good omen, Ethan hates crowds while J loves an audience. I nodded at D, it was ‘go’ time. D distracted Ethan with songs and dances while I grabbed the essentials. “Can I go over there and look at the stuff?” J pointed at the toy section. I ignored him and quickly filled our trolley – here’s a fun fact, I can fill our trolley in less than 15 minutes and only manage to forget ‘non’ essentials. Like butter. And bread. Oh... and milk.
I glanced at an enthusiastic D, who was now on a the chorus of
Bear in the Blue House, he’d give ‘Mr Tumbles’ a run for his money I thought as I picked up 12 (yes, 12) packs of baby wipes.
“Mom, mom, look, look over there!” J is jumping up and down. Stupidly, I looked. “What?” I snapped, my face flushed. “The new Lego, the new Lego and look at all the toys mom!” “I SAID NO.” I clenched my teeth. “ Jeez mom, I was only saying look at them, I didn’t ask for me to go over or anything.”
Suddenly: “GO ‘WAYY.
NOOOO, NOT YOU, NOOO”.
It was Ethan. I felt beads of sweat fall down my face.
“Mom, can I go NOW and look at the toys?” J, as always, saw an opportunity. I wheeled the trolley over to D who was now being used as a punch bag.
“Okay, okay buddy.” D was trying hard to calm Ethan down. “GO WAAAYYY YOU” Ethan spat, his face red, fists threatening. “Okay, okay...” D slowly stood up, “We gotta go.”
BANG. Ethan had grabbed the nearest thing to him and thrown it. It took us all by surprise, including Ethan. The baby let out a roar. We only noticed our audience then, as we could finally hear their disapproving tuts. Ethan had calmed enough for D to sing him out of the supermarket. I sighed. Now to face my audience, “It’s a jar of coffee folks...” A simple yet obvious statement tends to help disperse an audience – there’s a tip for you.
I looked around for J. Sh*t. I called. I unbuckled baby D, grabbed him and my empty shopping bags and headed straight for the toy section. “Hey Mom. Ethan calm down? We’ve to go now don’t we? Can I have ice-cream on the way home? Did glass really go everywhere?” I rolled my eyes.
"Come on. I’ve to pay for the coffee and let them know there is glass on the aisle”.
I headed towards the customer service desk, feeling my blood pressure rise. “Excuse me, my son broke a jar of coffee, there is glass on the aisle now, can I pay for it here, please?” I smiled as the baby slapped my face. “Nice only” I reminded him as he pulled my hair.
“Don’t worry about it pet, we hope the little guy is okay”.
My face glowed. “Oh, I..”
She cut me off: "Seriously, it’s fine. You head off, you’ve your hands full.” she smiled as the baby pulled harder on my hair.
I felt my lower lip wobble, it’s not often I’m met with such understanding, I wanted to hug the woman.
D was waiting outside the car, I could see the car rocking from side to side."We’ve to go J. Mammy will have to sit beside the baby and just let Ethan have the back seat, he’s not going to calm down for a while I’d say.”
Driving with Ethan having what we call a ‘meltdown’ isn’t easy, even though we have a seven-seater car, he can still kick from the back seat and kick rather well. I got a few kicks into my right arm as I protected the side of the baby’s car seat. The baby decided this was the perfect time to start having his very own meltdown, while J continued to ask why he couldn't just look at the Lego.
“F**k off” Ethan roared as we pulled into the driveway.
“So, what do you think it was?” I asked D as we waited for Ethan to regulate himself. “Don’t know… maybe he decided that he’s almost 12 and wanted a coffee?” We both laughed.
We watched him get out of the car, trying not to help. We stood at the front door. “You okay buddy?” D asked. I walked towards the car, placed my hand out for Ethan to use as support. He took my hand. I sighed and gave D the nod. D approached. “Okay bud?”
“Simpsons? Homer? Christmas? My birthday?” Ethan asked as he limped into the house.
And just as quickly as the meltdown had started, it was over.
We have not been grocery shopping for one year and two months as a family and frankly, I refuse to feel guilty about it!
I am Ger, wife to D and a mom to three boys. I am their world while these four men are mine. We are trying to learn how to laugh again after our eldest son Ethan was diagnosed with Hunter Syndrome. This is a blog about living, laughing and learning.
We are thrilled to have Ger on board as our Guest Blogger this week, for more of her beautiful words, follow her blog: geraldinerenton.com or read yesterday's post on Hunter Syndrome. 
