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22nd Mar 2016

10 Deeply Irritating Things People Need To Stop Doing to Pregnant People

Sophie White

What if I told you that The Man has never kissed my bump a la the above picture BUT that I have still had my bump kissed in public? What if I told you that it was at a school reunion in fact, by a man I hadn’t seen in 10 years and who, prior to that, I had barely ever spoken to in my life before. If you’ve ever been pregnant before, this will no doubt NOT surprise you…

Bump touching and bump kissing are just a couple of the invasive things pregnant people have to put up with in the course of their everyday lives as Public Property…

10 Deeply Irritating Things People Need To Stop Doing to Pregnant People:

1. Touching them

See the above bump-kissing anecdote.

2. Ignoring them on public transport

They can see you avoiding their eye you know. Just get up and give them the seat before she sits on you.

3. Commenting on their eating habits

Whether we’re eating for two, six or ten just shut the hell up.

4. Treating them like infants

They couldn’t give less f*cks about what we think they should be doing right now. People need to stop telling off pregnant woman for their every misstep. It is actually really hard to keep up with all the things they’re not supposed to be eating, smoking or rubbing all over their gigantic bodies so please just leave them alone.

5. Accusing them of being pregnant

This is really only applicable in the early months when the unfortunate Gestator is supposed to be trying to hide the fact that she feels like vomiting 98 percent of the time. Yes it’s usually pretty obvious when someone in the vicinity is harbouring a secret foetus, maybe just do them the solid of not outing them until they’re ready.

6. Asking if it’s twins

Unless absolutely positive that it is twins. Seriously it’s NOT funny.

7. Storing strong smelling items anywhere near them

Not cool. I know it’s virtually impossible to anticipate what’s going to offend a pregnant woman’s sensitive nose, but the very pregnant are not known for being reasonable so best err on the side of doing NOTHING that could potentially set them off.

8. Asking overly personal questions

If there words “perineum massage” are coming up in conversation, then you’ve gone too deep.

9. Gleefully recounting birth horror stories

Who is this helping exactly?

10. Touching them

I know I’ve already said it but this one bears repeating because SERIOUSLY PEOPLE STILL INSIST ON DOING IT.

Pregnant? What annoying things are people do to you? Let us know in the comments…