I have only one child currently, so to me he is the craziest, wildest, funniest little person that has ever walked this earth. I hear people talking about their crazy toddlers and think how "chill" their lives sound compared to mine because as fun-loving and adorable as The Child is, he is also prone to serious tantrums. On a bad day, every single teeny tiny thing from moving his glass away from the edge of the table, to cutting his toast wrong, to my wearing the wrong jacket has the potential to throw him into a huge fit. I find when he starts to lose it he hates to be held or hugged or comforted physically in any way, which for a long time really frustrated me. I had no idea what to do to help him. Being a mother, natch I blamed myself for his "passionate" (as I euphemistically dubbed them) outbursts, because I also have a terrible temper and can easily work myself into irrational strops at the drop of a hat (see any of the pieces I have ever written about The Man for more info). I began to read as much as I could about the different ways that our children experience the volley of emotions that assault them when they are young and still learning how to navigate the world. Dr. Sears is always a bit of a voice of reason in my mind, and this quote really helped me change my perspective on The Child's tantrums: "You are neither responsible for his toddler tantrums nor for stopping them. The 'goodness' of your baby is not a reflection on your parenting ability. Tantrums are common when a baby starts to strive for independence." This took the pressure off me to immediately try and "fix" his outbursts. Gradually I started to realise that all children need to be comforted in different ways. For The Child, I've finally learned that he needs to be taken out of himself when in the throes of a fit. I started to whisper the word 'calm' over and over to him while I would carry him outside to look at the leaves on the tree or over to the mirror so he could see himself. (I had discovered months earlier that showing him himself in the mirror helped to sooth his night terrors.) Then a friend recommended a blog post by Occupational Therapist Christie Kiley that talked about Calm Down Bottles: "If a child is so upset she cannot be consoled or engaged in other calming activities (like she doesn’t want to be touched, hugged, or talked to), these Calm Down Bottles can serve as a visual “anchor” in order to bring her focus into one place when it may feel like her world is spinning out of control. She can shake the bottle as hard as she wants (so don’t use a glass bottle), and this provides calming proprioceptive input to her body while also serving as a physical outlet that is less destructive than hitting or kicking. While she holds the bottle and watches the glitter fall, her hands and eyes are brought to midline, and this can help organise and centre her nervous system as well. And as her heart pounds and she demonstrates fast, shallow breathing from being so upset, the slow fall of the shaken glitter can serve as a visual model that, often unconsciously, can slow her heart rate and respiration." This sounds easier than going in search of a tree every time The Child is beside himself. Here's how to make a Calm Bottle (I'm renaming it as since when does someone telling us to "calm down" ever result in us calming down?) You will need:

• 1 water bottle
• Clear glue
• Glitter Glue
• Glitter

Step 1 Empty a smooth sided water bottle, removing all labels and sticky residue. Step 2 In a separate bowl mix clear glue with glitter glue and then gradually add hot water and whisk together. Step 3 Add more loose glitter to the mixture and then carefully decant (using a funnel) into the water bottle. Screw the bottle cap on tight (use a little extra glue inside the cap if your little one is old enough to unscrew it) and shake the bottle to watch the glitter slowly settle. Recipe via MyCrazyBlessedLife Available pre-made at Etsy