When I was pregnant, I decided that I would breastfeed, but it still seemed like a pretty abstract concept to me.
I had no appreciation for what a rewarding, at times difficult and often quite mysterious process it turned out to be. When I was having trouble latching my son on – which at the time involved squishing my boob into a very appetising sandwich shape and attempting to stuff it into my baby's mouth, while he squalled with impatient hunger (don't worry, it got easier) – my friend who was watching asked: What's it like? At the time, I answered that it was like feeding an unwilling cat, because it kind of was back then. Later, after the breastfeeding became a more harmonious act, another friend again asked me what was it like as I sighed upon latching the baby on and I said: It's weirdly satisfying like a sneeze or a yawn and it's relaxing like a lazy snooze. These wildly differing answers got me thinking about how breastfeeding turned out to be nothing like what I expected.
10 amazing things no one told me about breastfeeding:
1. The colostrum kicks in before the baby is even out
Not for everyone I hear, but mine leaked first at about 34 weeks. It was like The Boobs were announcing their new super powers. Having had very small boobs up until that point, it was very odd suddenly noticing them at all, never mind that they, totally independent of me had developed an entirely new modus operandi. "Fair play to them," I thought.
2. Breastmilk gets babies drunk?
It was disconcerting, at first, so much so that I buzzed for the midwife, afraid that there was something wrong with the baby who was lolling in a blissed out little trance in my arms after his very first ever feed. "Nope, nope, they do that," she laughed. See
here for more milk-drunk babies.
3. Breastfeeding is really, REALLLLLLY relaxing...
Like
Big Lebowski kind of relaxing. I'm not sure if everyone experiences this but it's a very nice side effect. Apparently it's oxytocin (often referred to as the Love Hormone) being released into your system.
4. Crying makes The Boobs leak sympathy tears
I first discovered this when the baby was having his first bath and bawling his eyes out. Tired and emotional I started crying and then as if not wanting to be left out of all the emoting The Boobs joined in. Weird.
5. Other babies make the boobs leak, even just other babies ON TV make The Boobs leak
The Boobs were becoming more emotional than me and my mother watching
Terms of Endearment during a wine and chocolate bender.
6. The Boobs wake me up to feed the baby before the baby wakes me up
I began to notice that I would wake up a few minutes before the baby would be looking for a feed. The mysterious connection was like an invisible alarm clock; The Boobs would literally be buzzing like a wake-up call.
7. The sensation of the let down is crazy
Apparently not everyone will feel the let down (this is the milk being released during feeding). Initially, I didn't realise what the tingly sensation meant. I rang my midwife to ask her about my "giddy skin", she was just the latest in a long line of medical professionals that I'd encountered by that stage who probably suspected I was dangerously stupid to be raising a child.
8. When you gotta feed, you gotta feed
The Boobs were threatening to burst as I drove home; The Baby was threatening to revolt if I didn't feed him NOW. The Boobs and The Baby won and I pulled over to feed in a taxi rank. This is by no means the weirdest place I've ever breastfed.
9. You can do a LOT of stuff while breastfeeding
Multitasking does not even cover the kinds of stuff I could accomplish while breastfeeding after I overcame point 3. Audio books, typing up articles, eating, snoozing, shopping, washing the dishes, eating.
10. I really miss it
This last one is probably only amazing to me because I found breastfeeding really challenging for the first few months. I was in a bad place with the whole process for quite a while. After tongue tie correction, lactation consultants, herbal teas and other remedies gleaned from everyone from midwives to a taxi driver, I enjoyed many months of breastfeeding but I never imagined how I'd feel after weaning my son. I really miss those days and at the time I never thought that would be the case. My advice is take a picture. Not for the internet unless that's your buzz, but just to look at after the baby has moved on and is stealing steak from your plate and wielding a knife and fork like a pro. Take it from that angle that only mothers will know, looking down at their sweet little heads burrowed in, munching away.
