Anyone else have a non-cuddler? Truth be told I'd take a non-sleeper over a non-cuddler any day.
My non-cuddling son has made me into a fully fledged baby stalker, compelled to steal precious cuddles from him whenever I get the opportunity. I hope that I am not alone in this...
10 things only parents of non-cuddlers will understand:
1. There is NOTHING in the world as delicious as that baby head smell. And when you've got a stubborn non-cuddly baby WITHHOLDING that gorgeous smell one can't help but feel a little resentful.
2. A part of you misses the days when they were newborns and virtually immobile. When they couldn't fend you off or keep you from sniffing them for nine hours a day, seven days a week. I don't think I got anything else done the whole time I was on maternity leave.
3. You forget that over-smelling another person's baby can make strangers and people in company a little nervous. It's just so rare that I get a chance to cuddle a baby so at this point my baby, their baby, ANY baby will do.
4. When they're old enough and have officially become non-cuddlers, oddly a little bit of us loves when they fall and hurt themselves for the extra bit of cuddle time we get before they shove off back to playing and being way too independent for our liking.
5. We have the ability to be a tad needy for our non-cuddlers. Sometimes he looks at me like I'm an overly attached girlfriend, miss-calling him 27 times in a row.
6. Very occasionally a little "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" actually works. I find hounding my son for cuddles rarely works but if I pretend to be a little standoffish then BAM he's over for a leg-hug in minutes. Is it a little weird to be this calculating? Anyone else playing mind games like these with their two-year-old?
7. Story time is the best window for optimum forced cuddles. I distract him with books while voraciously smelling his head.
8. A Flash Cuddle is the best way to get a go off a non-cuddler. A flash cuddle works like this:
Step 1: Distract the non-cuddler with an engaging toy.
Step 2: Rapidly hug him until he protests and shrugs you off.
Step 3: Back off and wait quietly for a few minutes.
Step 4: Repeat steps 2 and 3 until the non-cuddler protests too much.
Step 5: Back away (until they are sufficiently distracted again).
9. Sometimes the irrational, crazy, sleep-deprived lady in my brain starts to worry that my non-cuddler perhaps doesn't love me. But then I remind myself that she hasn't slept in two years and is known for her disjointed and wild ravings that have no bearing on reality.... WAIT WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT ME????
10. A non-cuddler doles out the cuddles so infrequently that I've come to see them as rarer and somehow better than regular baby cuddles. They are hard won cuddles and, therefore, more special. At least, this is what we parents of non-cuddlers must tell ourselves.
Got a non-cuddler? Did they ever turn into the ultimate cuddling baby? Give a mum some hope here... or a cuddle.
