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12th March 2016
10:00am GMT
Rule #2 – Change your mind about what it is you hate.
Rule #3 – Only accept food from other people's plates.
Rule #4 – What's mine is mine; what's theirs is mine.
Rule #5 – Never throw dried food on the floor, only saucy food.
Rule #6 – Only accept sticky toppings on your toast.
Rule #7 – Stay immaculate while wearing the bib and grotty old pyjamas; absolutely bath in the food when wearing clean clothes.
Rule #8 – If food preparation takes longer than 8 seconds, lose your sh*t.
Rule #9 – Never accept any food item that appears to have come from a natural source: No greens EVER.
Rule #10 – All meals must be consumed with one's hands. However an assortment of cutlery must be supplied to play with/attack others.
Rule #11 – The more they want you to eat something, the more you must resist.
Rule #12 – Store up all enthusiasm for eating for later, say around 2 am.
Rule #13 – When eating chocolate cake be sure to TOUCH EVERYTHING.
Rule #14 – Never accept a first dinner, make them attempt at least three options before allowing even a MORSEL of food past your lips.
Rule #15 – Put food in your hair.
Rule #16 – Put food in THEIR hair.
Rule #17 – Keep smiling, they cannot resist it.
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