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13th January 2025
11:08am GMT
When their peers are well-versed in the latest technology and games, it’s normal for your child to want a look in.
But what effects do these games, often containing violence, have on our youngsters and how can we find a happy medium as parents?
One mum says her son has started to show signs of “troubling behaviour” and she is worried that his hours of gaming is having an influence.
“I have a nine-year-old son who has recently started becoming more challenging to handle,” she said.
“He’s always been a curious and energetic child, but over the last few months I’ve noticed a few troubling changes in his behaviour.”
She went on to explain to Newstalk: “He started to act out more at school, refusing to listen to teachers and even getting into trouble for talking during lessons.
“At home, he’s becoming more defiant, and argues with me over small things; like brushing his teeth or going to bed on time.
“He also seems to be losing interest in activities he once loved, like reading and drawing, and now spends hours playing video games.”
The mum has been wracking her brain to find a reason for his change in behaviour and said: “I’m not sure whether this is just a phase or if something deeper is going on - should I be concerned? What can I do to help him through this phase?”
Joanna Fortune, a family psychotherapist, gave her advice to this worried mum and said from her experience it sounds as if the child has too much control.
“Why is he spending hours playing it at nine years old? Who is setting the rules and boundaries around access to this device," she asked.
“If he is, and you’re expecting him to self-regulate the level of time he should be spending on it, what games he should be doing, then that’s terribly unfair to put that responsibility on him.
“There is no way I’d expect a nine-year-old to self-regulate that level of arousal - but also, if you’ve given him access to a device without putting any boundaries in place first, that’s on you and you have to now stop and say; ‘Oh, I got that wrong’.”
Giving some advice in terms of a solution, Ms Fortune said: “This parents has mentioned that he has lost interest in activities that he once loved, and you’ve names reading and drawing and now he’s spending hours on video games.
“That’s a lot of sedentary activity, and I just would be curious about his level of activity and I just would be curious about his level of physical activity, his outdoor time - because that’s really important for kids.
“It is important for all kids, but it’s really important for kids his age that he would have time outside, that there would be a level of physical activity and that it’s not all things that are sitting still [and that he’s] doing on his own.”
Joanna then explained that this would help the young boy to express any frustrations through play.
