Child therapist urges parents to stop telling kids to ‘take a deep breath’ amid tantrum

A child therapist has advised parents to stop telling their child to ‘take a deep breath’ mid-tantrum.

She explained that while parents always mean well when telling their children to take a breath, “the truth of the matter is these things need to be self-initiated”.

She went on to explain: “Coping skills need to be self-initiated. They shouldn’t be forced. No one wants to feel controlled, especially with their feelings,” she wrote in the caption.

Dr McCoy says you could instead try saying something like: “We’re having a hard moment. I’m going to take a deep breath to calm my body down.”

You can then take some deep breaths yourself, in front of your child.

“If they join in, great. If they don’t, great. But kids are more likely to join us if they feel like we’re doing it with them and it’s not something we’re forcing them to do, Dr. McCoy said.”

The expert then said this allows your child to develop their own coping mechanisms, based on our actions rather than our demands.

It also reassures your child that you’re not trying to force change upon their emotions, but let’s them understand that you, as their mum or dad, have a coping mechanism that works for you - so they might give it a go, unprompted.

Have you ever tried this? And did it work during one of your little ones’ tantrums?