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08th Apr 2024

‘How do I tell someone their kid isn’t invited to the party?’

Anna Martin

exclude party

No one wants to be excluded and many people will not willingly exclude someone

Yet sometimes when it comes to the comfort of others you just might have to and it can lead to an uncomfortable situation.

One mother is looking for advice on how to handle this situation after she decided not to invite a child to a party she was throwing for her kids and their classmates.

Explaining the situation on Reddit, she wrote, “My kid attends a very tight-knit community school where all the parents know each other.

“I am having a few kids over from my kid’s school for the eclipse viewing. I am really good friends with this mom and her family.

“This is the first time I did not invite her child to an event at the request of other parents because her kid has been bullying a few of them,” she explained.

She continued, “My kid gets along with all the children in the school including her kid. My child is ok with her not being invited because of the recent turmoil this girl has caused in their friend circle BUT she still wants to remain friends with her.

exclude party
Credit: Getty

“How do I tell the mom her kid is not invited without causing drama among the parents or causing turmoil between my child’s friendship with this child.”

Understandably, this is a tough situation to find yourself in, on one hand you want to make sure all the other kids feel safe but on the other, there are two friendships you don’t want to compromise.

The question of how to navigate this situation without causing hurt feelings is a difficult one, but the woman’s fellow Reddit users were there to offer some advice.

Many people called out the mother for wanting to avoid any drama, questioning why she would allow her child to stay friends with the “class bully”.

One person wrote, “My question is why is it so important to you and your child not to rock the boat and risk upsetting the class bully? Your kid wants to keep being her friend why? And why are you so supportive?

“You can’t middle-of-the-road life. You do have to pick sides sometimes. Trying to be friends with everyone in a situation like this is a recipe for ending up with no friends at all because no one trusts you.

“Tell her that you are having some people over and that you’re sorry but her daughter’s actions mean she isn’t welcome around and that you hope it’s resolved in the future.”

Another person wrote, “I think, more importantly than the party invite issue, the mother needs to be aware that her child is bullying other children,” pointing out that the problem is deeper than a social event.

Though it seems like the mother is aware of her child’s actions as the original poster explained she had been contacted by the school about it on multiple occasions but appears to be in denial.

Credit: Getty

In an update, the original poster wrote, “I used one suggested reply about letting the mom know I was just having a few people over to watch the eclipse without mentioning names or getting into detail.

“I shall wait till midweek when she finds out the girls came over to my house, and hopefully it doesn’t blow up in my face. But this bullying thing is an issue that I will probably have to tackle eventually because it has slowly been getting worse.

“And the mom has been in denial about it despite the fact that the school and multiple parents have already spoken to her about it.”

What would you do in this situation?