Search icon


26th Apr 2024

Mum upset as her friend says she ‘hasn’t given birth properly’

Olivia Hayes

We all have different experiences with birth

When it comes to giving birth, everyone is different. We all went through different pain and different deliveries. However, one mum has taken to Mumsnet after her friend told her that she didn’t give birth properly.

In the post, she said that she met up with her friends for the first time since welcoming her baby, and when she told her friends of the birth, it took a weird turn.

“So I had a baby boy 5 months ago and recently met up with some friends whose children are older. Haven’t seen them since the baby.

“I generally don’t talk about the birth because no one really wants to know about someone else’s experience, but they did ask so I briefly told them (induction, back-to-back labour til fully dilated, pushing with episiotomy and forceps, emcs)

“One of them said ‘So you’ve come away from that thinking that you know what it’s like to have a baby’. Wtf does that even mean? I said ‘I don’t get what you mean by that!’

“She said ‘You’ve not given birth properly, you’ve not been in transition, you’ve only done the easy bit. So many women think they’ve given birth but they have no idea.

“I’m not sure why I’m posting except to say- Aibu that this is not how normal people view childbirth?”

Obviously, this is absolutely ridiculous and many users replied to the post to say as much.

One said, “She sounds horrid. Of course, you’ve given birth – your baby has been born so you must have done!

“And it sounds like your birth was much harder than mine, where my baby did come out vaginally.

“Ignore her, she’s an idiot.

While another wrote:

“Your friend’s attitude is disgraceful and shocking. I would definitely distance myself from her. Who the hell does she think she is to be so judgemental.”

How would you have reacted if one of your friends said this to you?