The 10 most dangerous things to say to an under-slept mother 7 years ago

The 10 most dangerous things to say to an under-slept mother

Lack of sleep leaves one fragile and hyper-sensitive.

Add one helpless newborn and possibly a few older siblings. Minus ANY time to have a shower or even think a coherent thought without interruption. Multiply that by the number of weeks old your oldest child is. Divide by the number of trips to the loo undertaken WITHOUT the company of other humans (albeit small ones) in that time and you've got a recipe for a woman on the verge of lashing out at the slightest provocation.

Partners, friends, randomers who piss us off...You were warned.

10 most dangerous things to say to an under-slept mother (with suggested responses)

1. "You look exhausted."

"You look like shit too, but well-rested shit." Too harsh? Maybe but c'mon we're so very grumpy and hormonal.

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2. "I'm exhausted."

"NO, no one is allowed to be tired in my vicinity. I have the monopoly on ALL tiredness from now on."

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3. "What's for dinner?"

"Toast... And I'm not making it."

4. "You really need to take some time just for you."

*Laughs bitterly*

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5. "Sleep when the baby sleeps."

"So what, like in 24 months time?"

6. "Isn't it just heaven?"

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"If by 'heaven' you mean full-tilt torture interspersed with delirious happiness when the baby sighs in a cute way or gets a wind up, then yeah, I guess it is heaven."

7. "Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture you know."

"Do you really think you have to tell ME that?"

8. "You should..."

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"Four weeks ago, I made a human and I haven't slept more than two consecutive hours since. I never have to "SHOULD" again."

9. "Is he still not sleeping through?"

I'm gonna hand this one over to Cameron...

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10. "I ate the last Magnum."

"You are dead to me."