Becoming a parent can be a confusing time. Your body changes, your priorities are different and all of a sudden you’re catapulted into a world of buggies and mummies and doctors and breastfeeding. It’s not surprising a mum can go through something of an identity crisis.
I was 22 when my daughter was born and I had just finished my degree. I always had an interest in fashion and loved the process of putting an outfit together but when my daughter was born I suddenly had no idea what to wear. I knew how I wanted to be perceived but I wasn't sure how to convey it.
Born at 30 weeks, Hailey had a number of health and developmental complications and didn't come home from hospital for three months. I was constantly dealing with doctors, nurses and therapists and in and out of the hospital every day.
Aside from the unwavering fear and worry for my daughter, I felt totally uncomfortable in myself. I lacked the confidence to question the professionals dealing with my daughter and I couldn't help thinking ‘How can I make these people take me seriously as a parent?’
I was young, but I looked even younger and I didn't know how to dress for my new life. Mini skirts and hi-tops aren't exactly a good look for the ICU. I didn't want to dress like the other mums in the ward, nor did I want to look like a child. In the grand scheme of things, this was the least of my worries but it was one thing I was actually able to control. So I began to adopt a simple style that wasn't ageing but looked put together.
Skinny jeans, flat shoes or boots, a Breton top or a blouse and a scarf or some jewellery – (yes, Alexa Chung was my style icon) -became my hospital uniform. I would always ensure my hair and make-up were neat without being too much. At the weekends or if I was meeting friends I’d let a bit more of my personality shine but it was a difficult transformation to go from student to parent.
As time goes on, my confidence grows and my worry about the perceptions of others diminishes. However, I still catch myself worrying if my hemline is too short or if I have too much cleavage on show. Part of me hates that I have allowed the views and perceptions of others to change the way I do things. On the plus side however, I bet my self-imposed wardrobe rules have helped me dodge some awful trends along the way.
