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26th January 2018
01:05pm GMT
"The movements have exposed abuse of power; abuse of power differentials between genders, between those with influence and those who have none – or very little. And, as the focus of my research area of interest is consent, the movements have also reiterated the very real disconnect between understanding what affirmative, active, freely given ongoing and enthusiastic consent actually is and lived experiences."Elaine says that the current SPHE programme taught to Irish school students focuses on abstinence and disease prevention and that there is a disconnect between what students are learning and the information they need to keep themselves and others safe as they grow up.
"We need to refocus from what is effectively an abstinence-promoting, disease prevention approach to sex education." "As Tewodros Melesse, the former director general of the International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF) articulated, 'we cannot achieve gender transformative change by focusing only on health outcomes. We must equip young people with information about health as well as positive aspects of sex and sexuality'.Countries with a more progressive approach to sex education teach children that sex is normal, healthy and positive part of the human experience. These countries also tend to have much lower rates of teenage pregnancies and also lower abortion rates. Elaine and her co-facilitator Richie Sadlier lead a sexual health module with TY students in a Dublin boys school. Elaine says that the boys they teach are very aware of issues around consent.
"The boys...really want to understand what it means and how they can communicate and negotiate it in relationships. They are also aware of gendered stereotypes – where males are depicted as predatory and females passive. We challenge these!" "The overall theme of the module is positive sexuality. Through interactive activities the boys explore what this means for them. And, also when it comes to the issue of consent we also approach that positively – my perspective, immersed as I am in all things “consent” is that it is mutual and bi-directional." "We reiterate throughout the module how important communication with a partner is – it’s the basis of healthy relationships. Mutual respect and particularly respect for boundaries – both theirs and that of a partner. Now, none of this is part of the SPHE programme currently being delivered in (some) secondary schools in Ireland. And, this has to change."Elaine says that understanding mutual respect is at the core of consent education and that this is something parents can introduce to children from a very young age.
"Respect for boundaries, respect for feelings, respect for what the other person wants and needs, and what we want and need ourselves." "When we think about it, we can readily understand respect for others and boundaries in most everyday scenarios. For parents, introducing the concept of consent with children from a very early age (they are probably doing it anyway without realising!) by sharing examples such as, we wouldn’t take a friend's phone and use it without checking if they are okay with that. "We wouldn’t help ourselves to a slice of pizza without either being offered or asking if it's okay. We wouldn’t borrow clothes without asking either. It’s the same with consent!"Elaine's words demonstrate how important it is to have these conversations with your children, to inform and educate them on issues that matter.
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