Many mums feel an instant bond with their baby in the minutes after birth. For many others, it’s a slower process where that deep, all-encompassing love develops over those early days and weeks.
No matter which category you fall into (and know this: there are many more categories in between!) new motherhood is a process, not an innate skill that you either have or lack.
With that in mind, all you can do is look after yourself and try your best until you find out what works for you and your little bundle of joy.
Here are five tips to try while you both get the hang of your new life together…
1. Start when you’re ready
Experts agree that spending a lot of time with your baby in the early days is crucial to developing an early bond, but what if you have been separated for medical reasons after delivery? Relax. Don’t feel pressured to form an instant understanding with your tiny human from the get-go. Enjoy the ‘getting to know you’ phase and the rest will come naturally.
2. Try skin-to-skin
Studies show that skin-to-skin contact improves a newborn’s respiratory function, supports brain development and stabilises their temperature, significantly reducing stress (and crying!). It also has many benefits for mums, including increased maternal behaviours and more confidence in caring for their babies. Breastfeeding mums who make time for skin-to-skin tend to breastfeed for longer durations too.
3. Sing a song
You don’t have to be Celine Dion to astound a newborn baby with your musical prowess. Pick your favourite tune and sing or hum it while staring into your baby’s eyes – studies show it helps infants to relax and develop self control. Rapping is absolutely fine too, by the way.
4. Share a bath
Everyone benefits from a relaxing wind-down routine in the evening. Run a warm bath for baby, then hop in yourself too and spend a few minutes enjoying the soothing water together. The water temperature should be around 36oC at the hottest, according to the HSE – make sure you check it with a thermometer before bringing baby into the bath.
5. Don’t fret if touch is limited
If your baby is premature and needs to spend time in the NICU, there are ways to get to know them, even if you can’t always touch them. Learn how he communicates by watching his facial expressions, breathing, skin tone, gestures and taking note of his hand and feet movements. Pick up a copy of the patient information guide, ‘Better Together: A Family-Centred Care Guide for Your Premature Baby’ created by The Irish Neonatal Health Alliance (INHA).
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