Does your sunny disposition light up a room or do you cast a bit of a cloud wherever you go? Or does it all depend on which side the bed you got out of?
Most of us are blissfully unaware of our emotional impact on others, but experts now believe that feelings and moods can be contagious. We all know that person at work who changes the atmosphere like the flick of a switch, but who sets the tone at home? The answer, it seems, is mum and dad (no pressure!) but the good news is there are lots of small practical steps we can take to boost happiness and positivity at home.
1. Gratitude journals
For children aged seven and over, a diary of all of the things they’re grateful for (sunshine, friends… One Direction) is a great way to accentuate the positive and create a habit of hope and optimism. For children who are still learning to read and write, using key words and/or pictures has the same effect. Entries can be written or drawn in once a week and shared with siblings, mum and dad. Older children who have tablets or phones can download journaling apps, but the process of keeping a physical diary is a real novelty for most kids.
2. Gratitude letters
Whether it’s to a teacher, childminder, granny or granddad, a handwritten letter is a lovely way for children to say ‘thank you’. Writing the letter also gives them a sense of achievement. There’s also a kick to be had from the process of posting the letter the old fashioned way. Studies show that when children learn to appreciate what and who they have in their lives, their happiness levels rise and they become more resilient in the face of challenges.
3. Gratitude visits
This is a great opportunity to deliver the gratitude letter in person and can be pencilled into the holiday schedule fairly easily. Phone or Skype calls are an alternative when distance is an issue. The visit or call boosts family and social bonds and reminds children that they are part of a network and have resources to draw on in tough times.
4. Hunting the good stuff
When it’s raining outside, or there’s a dentist’s visit looming, this is a great way to keep the mood positive. Give the children 10 to 15 minutes to find ‘good stuff’. This could include good news stories about friends or relatives, a favourite book or toy, a photo, or a magazine picture of something that excites and motivates them. If older children start to roll their eyes, get to them to help the smallies or set them a more creative challenge like taking photos of things that symbolise happiness or creating a happiness board on Pinterest.
5. Savouring good times
Memories of happy times are a great resource for children and something to draw on when things are more challenging. Get photos of holidays and other family events printed and get the glue out to make a memory or happiness board. This is something the kids will really enjoy and you can also use the time to chat about what made these times so special. Keep the board in a prominent place so it’s there to create a mood of happiness and hope. Older children might like to use an online tool like Padlet where photos, text and video can be combined, or to use funky photo frames to decorate their rooms.
6. Mini mindfulness
Appreciating the here and now can be a challenge when we’re rushing from archery to basketball, but evidence shows that if we can learn to value the little things, we’re all happier for it. Time in the car can be spent on a version of the age-old game ‘I Spy’ where the kids try to find as may positive sights as they can on the journey. On walks in the park, get the children to identify pleasant sights, sounds and smells and create a habit of focusing on the positive.
7. What went well
This is a lovely thing to do before bedtime as it involves remembering the positive aspects of the day and looking forward to tomorrow. Get the kids to think back on three things that gave them a sense of happiness, fun and hope over the course of the day. Don’t ignore any negative experiences. Chat through these if they arise, but aim to help to put them into perspective by noting the positive things that also happened.
