‘They can happily stay up until 12’: Mum sparks under-5s bedtime debate

What time do you think little ones should go to bed?

Every family is different, as illustrated by a conversation that kicked off on Mumsnet. One mum took to the online message board asking fellow users if she was unreasonable for not understanding "the obsession with early bedtimes" among parents. In her post, the mum wrote that she couldn't understand why her sister-in-law put her kids, all under the age of five, to bed at 6pm, despite none of them being in school. "That means being stuck in the house from 4pm every day which I would hate," she wrote. "They get up at 5/5.30 which she complains about endlessly but what does she expect if they go to bed so early?" "They can't go on days out because the DC (dear children) are tired by lunch time and have to be home to nap, they don't do family parties or weddings because the DC cannot travel after 3pm and need to be home to wind down for bed by 4pm." The writer has three kids under five herself but they have a very different routine, going to bed around 9 each night. We can have full days out, if there's a party or wedding they can happily stay up until midnight," she wrote. "We can go to the park til bedtime in the summer and never need to rush home. "They have an older sibling at school and are all ready on time to take her at 8.30 so their bedtime won't need major adjustment when they start school." Her mother and law and sister-in-law are very judgmental of this routine, she continues, "with SIL (sister-in-law) saying at the weekend that my DC must be 'chronically overtired' because they were still dancing at a family party at midnight." Many of the commenters pointed out that the writer came across as rather judgemental herself.

"You sound very Judgy. Yours is a different way not necessarily the only way." "I agree that the less we judge other parents (non abusive) the better!" "Let your sister get on with her life and you get on with yours."

Others did agree, however, that early bedtimes aren't always practical.

"I have also had friends and relations complaining endlessly about the early starts, while sticking to a ridiculously early bedtime." "I can't see why anyone would think being woken by DC at 5am was something to AIM for." "I still don’t really understand why people obsessively put their children to bed early, maybe they read a different manual to me!"

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