The Creepiest, Most Disturbing Things Your Child Has Ever Said

Amanda Cassidy

Ever woken up in the dark of night with your child inches from your face eyeballing you like the little girl from The Ring?

No, me neither – just asking for a friend.

We all know that sometimes our children can say things a little out of the ordinary. But those mini humans can come out with some seriously weird and disturbing statements.

Reddit parents united to give us the best and freakiest things their kids have said – and it had us crying laughing:

1. “I was tucking in my two-year-old. He said “Goodbye dad.” I said, “No, we say good night.” He said “I know. But this time it’s goodbye.”

Had to check on him a few times to make sure he was still there.” Unfortunatebirthmark

2. “My 3-year-old daughter stood next to her new born brother and looked at him for awhile then turned and looked at me and said, “Daddy it’s a monster… we should bury it.” Like_I_was_sayin

3. “I was on a bus recently and we were stopped outside a walk-in clinic. A little girl in the seat in front of me turned to her dad and said, “Death is the poor man’s doctor.” And that was that.” x_y_zed

4. “So I shouldn’t throw him in the fire?” (three-year-old daughter holding her baby brother for the first time) Olafthebent

5. When I was about three we had a cat that had stillborn kittens. I asked my father if we could make crosses for them, which he did. As he was making them I asked:

“Aren’t those too small?”,

Dad: “What do you mean?”

Me: “aren’t we going to nail them to them?”

Dad: (after several moments silence) “we’re not going to do that”

Me: “oh”

Tom_Zarek

6. My toddler went through a phase where she would just constantly say ‘hi’ to things. “Hi hi hi hi hi hi”

One day, it came out sounding more like “Die die die die die”

So I say to her “What’s that you’re saying?”

And she turns to face me and just whispers “Diiiieeeeeee…….” PookiePi

7.“Go back to sleep, there isn’t anything under your bed”.

“He’s behind you now”.

Still haven’t gotten over that one and shiver at the memory. ToastedCheese

8. When I was about 4-5 I tried to dress up as Batman using stuff from our pantry. I used my Mum’s leather jacket that reached the floor on me, some black boots and a ski mask with an open face that kinda drooped down over my eyes. So, I went into my Mum’s room to wake her up and show her my cool outfit. (At this age I thought to wake people up, you open their eyes, people who are awake have their eyes open, right?) I then tried to open my Mum’s eyes by pushing her eyelids back. She woke up in a poorly lit room to a three-foot thing wearing all black, with no visible legs and a ski mask poking her in her eyes (I can’t imagine the horror). She jumped away screaming until she realised it was me. I’d actually forgotten about this story until I saw this thread. I’m sure my Mum hasn’t though. Mmjuicy

9. Not my child… but, my three-year-old Niece told my wife to dance in the middle of the room while she hid in a closet watching through the crack in the door. Chester_Arthiritis

10. While not something my own child has said, my younger cousin once drew a picture of a black monster, looked up at me, and said “He told me to draw this. He’s coming for you. You better hide.”

Lock your doors and turn on the lights! Share with us the creepiest things your little devil ever said!