Media outlets frequently paint a shameful picture of the lives and experiences of Au Pairs as vulnerable workers exploited in a sector that is largely unregulated. HerFamily spoke to 25-year-old Claire* from Dublin, about her experience as an Au Pair in the Canary Islands looking after four-year-old twins.
*Claire has chosen to remain anonymous in order to protect the confidentiality of the family she worked for.
I was 19 and had just completed my first year in Spanish and Sociology at TCD when I decided to look into working as an Au Pair. I knew that I needed to improve my conversational Spanish and moving abroad was my best chance.
“I had never lived outside of Ireland, either with family or alone. I knew that I wouldn’t suit the bar or promotions girl lifestyle that attracted many to work in Spain, Portugal, Greece and the Islands.”
In May 2010, I created an online profile on a well-known Au Pair site and within a few days I had messages from potential families. They were located all across Spain; I could choose from the green and chilly Galicia, the hustle and bustle of the capital city, Madrid, and then one family caught my eye. They were from Santa Cruz de Tenerife, the main city on the island of Tenerife.
Location wasn’t everything to me, but I knew that Madrid was just too daunting, so that left two. I spoke to each family via Skype, and was immediately drawn to Tenerife. The mum and dad’s main focus for their children was fluency in english. The family had previous AuPair experience and, in comparison to the other available position, this family did not require any additional help on my part.
“There was no cleaning, cooking, or housework – something I definitely did not see as an AuPair’s role with the minimal wages they receive.”
I said yes, booked my flights and was gone within three weeks. My poor mother was a nervous wreck. I had promised the family four months and felt committed to giving it my best shot. I arrived at the airport to find the host mum waiting for me, and proceeded to gibber in Spanglish in the car during the 45 minute journey up to the city.
I immediately liked the mum, who was young and seemed very approachable. She spoke in a very loving way about her two children, twins aged four and a half. Having had other Au Pairs before me, she explained that, from the very beginning, I was to only speak English to the children. She had never had an AuPair before that spoke some Spanish, and admitted she was nervous that the kids would fall in and out of speaking both languages with me. Obviously, I had no problem with speaking English inside the home, but I did resolve to try and make friends and learn Spanish outside of the house for my own sake.
“The children were amazing, they were both fun and energetic but also exceptionally well-behaved. I suppose I didn’t really realise at the time that I had struck gold with the family until I watched friends of mine – other AuPairs – go through the horrors they experienced.”
I worked Monday to Friday from nine to six-ish, bringing the children to school and then collecting them. Once we hit the summer, I had the children all day. My days were very structured. The family were members of the island’s Royal Yacht Club so every morning I walked from the apartment to the club, looking after the children while they swam or played tennis. Before lunch, I showered the children, got them dressed and we walked home where their housekeeper would have lunch ready. After lunch we would either play at home or go to the park directly across the road where the children would skate or play in the playground.
The family were always very kind to me. They invited me everywhere with them at the weekends, and made it very clear that I was a member of the family too. If I had other plans with friends, that was respected and they did everything they could to introduce me to other girls in the area. I think it would be fair to say that the family were an exception to the Au Pair rule.
“The mum also believed that a boyfriend would be very helpful to my Spanish, and was always ‘prompting’ me to make an effort in that area!”
My method of teaching English was pretty simple. I just spoke to the twins in my normal tone of voice, at normal speed, each and every day. I didn’t dumb down words. I spoke to the kids as if English was their native language. And it worked – I will never forget the moment I realised the effect I was having on this family.
We were down south on summer holidays for three weeks with the whole family. The dad worked a lot and would usually only see me with the kids at the weekends. We were sitting at a coffee shop and the little boy was playing with his aeroplane. He turned me and said, “Claire, how do I say the plane is leaving the ground?” and I said “take off.” He replied, “Claire, how do I say the plane is returning?” and I said “landing.” The little boy proceeded to repeat these words as the plane took off and landed over and over. He then said: “Claire, I want to do this when I am bigger” and the dad looked at me and thanked me for how much I had taught them. He said the kids’ English skills had dramatically improved – not just conversationally but in terms of their fluency.
I returned to the same family the year after for another four or five months. Second time around, it was even better because I felt very settled in the region and had friends there. We have kept in touch since then. They visited Dublin and I returned countless times to Tenerife, which will always feel like a second home to me.
“I would love for the family to be at my wedding, and for the little girl to be my children’s AuPair when she is older! I hope to be a part of these kids lives forever.”
Very often, parents make the mistake of believing that an Au Pair is there is teach crucial attributes to their children. We are not. Yes, there were times that the children misbehaved, they weren’t perfect. But I always knew that I could tell them it was wrong, and they understood what that word meant.
“Families need to understand that no-one can teach manners but parents. Once manners are instilled, then it is time to look at other skills an Au Pair can bring to benefit their children, such as another language.”
When children are taught respect, manners, and kindheartedness by their parents, they are an absolute pleasure to be around all day every day. The twins completely changed my mind about the stereotypical image of kids caged over the summer holidays, cranky, frustrated and misbehaving. I looked forward to every day I spent with them. I loved watching them learn more and more and, surprisingly, they became my best friends.
Join the conversation on Twitter @HerFamilydotie
